Thrown to the Wolves
by RT219
Summary: *stellaride fic* - somewhere after 6x15 - Something horrible has happened to Stella... who is responsible and how will the family at House 51 set things straight?
1. Chapter 1

NOTE: this story has no real connection beyond the fact that Stella and Severide are together... so somewhere past Season 6x15 - This is a WHAT IF? story... and it may take a few chapters for me to reveal exactly what's happened before the story... but please bear with me...

Thrown to the Wolves

Chapter 1

The air outside the Station House was near freezing, but that wasn't enough to keep her inside. The entire world could be on fire like the surface of the sun with the only refuge inside the walls of House 36 and still, she would have walked into the cold. Hoodie, yoga pants and untied sneakers were all the defense she had to the cold and it didn't matter. The night was dark and near silent as she made it to the curb. The area surrounding them was industrial for the most part, with warehouses forming a cold and lifeless wall around them. No cars moving on the street, and there wasn't anyone walking.

Not in this temperature.

Closing her eyes for a moment she tried to remember the surrounding area. Where she could go for shelter or help.

She needed somewhere with a phone.

She'd gone blocks, or was it feet… her legs her back… everything hurt. She just needed some kind of sign that she's wasn't all alone. That it wouldn't end like this.

Up ahead, a crossing light blinked at her, drawing her one step after another… and still it never seemed to be any closer to her. This wasn't going to work.

She wasn't going to make it.

A crack in the cement caught at her boot and she fell to her knees, ignoring the hard crack of bone against the cold pavement.

She went forward onto her hands, thick tears turning to slush on her cheeks. "Please," she begged, but she had no idea who she was talking to, "please help me."

A wide swath of light swept over her hands and came to a stop with the soft squeal of brakes.

More tears fell when she heard someone call out. "Miss? Are you hurt?"

Her eyes slammed shut and she drew in enough of a breath to speak. "21st District Police Station."

Hands touched her and Stella winced, pulling away. "Don't…" she gasped, "don't please."

"I'm just trying to help you into the car, Miss. The 21st is just around the corner, but I can leave you here alone." He moved closer. "May I help you?"  
"Sorry," she moaned and nodded her head. "Yes, please…"

Moments later she all but collapsed into the man's backseat, her whole body crying out in agony.

Someone tucked her feet inside the vehicle and then closed the door. For a moment she wondered if this was all just some kind of a trick.

But then the car started and she felt the blessed touch of a heater warming the air. "Don't try to move," he told her, "I'll get you there in just a minute. Just stay awake, okay?"

And she agreed with him. She didn't want to go to sleep, not with her nightmare of a memory waiting for her on the other side.

#

Sgt. Trudy Platt looked up as an older gentleman walked into the station. He looked around, his nerves clearly on display and his hands wringing the knit cap in his hands. "Excuse me?"

"Sir, can I help you?"

He looked up at her and his expression went from stark horror to a glimmer of hope. "Are you Sgt. Platt?"

Something twisted in Trudy's middle and there was a distinct throb of warning in her head. "That's me. What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"I have a woman in my car," he explained, his face flushed with red. From the cold or shame he didn't know, "she said to come in and ask for you."

Trudy was already around the desk before he could continue.

"She's in real bad shape," he was jogging after her and Trudy pushed open the doors.

"Show me."

He pointed at a car parked behind some cruisers with its lights on and clouds puffing out from the exhaust. "Right there."

Trudy pulled open the back door at his prompting and what she saw froze her blood. "Stella?"

The injured firefighter tried to turn on her side to look at Trudy right-side up, but Trudy touched her shoulder to hold her still.

"Stella," she heard her voice crack as she looked down at the younger woman who looked like she'd gone more than a few rounds with someone three weight classes above her, "what happened?"

"Take me to a clinic, somewhere… anywhere, please."

Trudy grabbed for her radio. "Dispatch, I need an ambo-"

She stopped short as Stella's hand grabbed onto her wrist, holding it in a vice-like grip.

"Don't tell them who I am… they can't know…"

"Stella-"

Stella only squeezed harder. "Kelly can't know."

There was something so certain in Stella's eyes that it broke Trudy's heart just to see it. "Okay, Stella… Okay."

#

Mouch woke to the dulcet tones of Christopher Herrmann smacking at his foot. "Wah?"

"Your phone, Mouch… your phone is ringing and some of us are trying to get some sleep!"

Blinking his eyes several times, Mouch grabbed up his phone from the bedside table and saw the caller ID: Trudy. Sliding off the bed, Mouch rushed into the hallway and answered the phone. "Yes, my lo-" He listened to her orders and nodded even if she couldn't see him. "She what? I'll go tell- No? No! Of course not. Yes, I'll get in my car as soon as I talk to Casey. Bye."

Crossing back through the bunk area he moved over to Casey's door and softly knocked on the glass. Moments later Casey opened up his door and looked out at Mouch. "Something wrong?"

Mouch wanted to say so much more, but he'd heard Trudy's warning loud and clear. "Trudy's on her way to the ER, can I-"

"Sure, go." Matt rubbed at his eyes. "You let us know when we can stop by and -"

"NO." Mouch winced at how forceful he'd made his answer. "It's a… It's a woman's thing… so she wouldn't want… you know-"

Matt had his hands up in surrender. "Well, you call and let me know if there's anything we can do. Okay?"

Mouch nodded. "Thanks, Cap."

And then he was gone.

#

Stella had fought like a wild thing when she'd seen the glowing sign for Chicago Med outside the window, and Trudy was the only one who could calm her down.

When the EMT asked Trudy what she said to get Stella to calm down, Trudy nailed the man with a look that promised death or dismemberment if he didn't heed her words. "I told her you'd remember to put her down as a Jane Doe."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I'm sorry," Trudy leaned closer, "what did you say?"

He blinked back at her. "Yes, Sgt. Platt."

She nodded at him, satisfied. "That's what I thought you said."


	2. Chapter 2

If you haven't figured it out already.. this one is going to be dark and angsty... with mature/adult situations... don't continue on if you aren't prepared

* * *

Chapter Two

Maggie looked at April and Dr. Choi who were standing beside her at the double doors. "Okay, so we remember what Trudy said?"

April nodded, still visibly confused. "Jane Doe."

Ethan shook his head. "I guess we'll figure out why when they get here."

Maggie looked at the ER and shrugged. "Lucky for us we're at a slow time of the night, it shouldn't be too hard to get Jane Doe set up in the far corner and make sure we keep her presence limited to personnel who understand our limitations here."

April heard the familiar sound of the ambo in the driveway and stepped to the door. "It's horrible," she sighed, "I've got this sinking feeling that it's someone we know."

Ethan gave her a reassuring touch on her shoulder. "Me too."

"And," Maggie added, "how bad it is that they're coming in like this."

They all pushed through the automatic doors and met the EMTs as they opened up the back door. Sgt. Platt was the first one to hop out. All she had to do was sweep a gaze past the three staffers and received their acknowledgement.

That's when she started. "Jane Doe, beaten," the EMT wheeled the stretcher forward and Ethan and April helped him along. Trudy grabbed Maggie's arm and held her back for a moment. "Suspected sexual assault. Tread lightly on this one."

Maggie nodded, fighting back tears. "Sure, sure… of course. You want to call 51?" As soon as she asked it, Maggie's eyes widened in realization. "Oh… wow… she doesn't want them to know."

Trudy nodded. "She doesn't want me to make an official report-"

"What?" Maggie shook her head. "What do you mean? Whoever did this… she can't think-"

Sighing, Trudy looked at Maggie. "I know, but at this point, Stella is refusing a police investigation… I'm hoping we can convince her otherwise."

"I'm still going to ask her to do a kit."

Trudy nodded. "Yes… if you have any trouble convincing her, call me. If she won't let us go after the bastards, then at least we can preserve the evidence."

There was a moment of silence when Trudy looked across the room at the examination area completely shrouded by curtains. "I asked her some questions on the way. She has holes in her memory… she didn't tell me much but I could tell that she was struggling. Get the kit… When she's ready to report this, ready to deal with this… maybe we can give her the answers she doesn't have."

Reaching out, Maggie squeezed Trudy's arm. "We'll take care of her… don't you worry."

Trudy had her phone out and nodded. "I know you will… just do what you can."

#

By the time Mouch got to Chicago Med his heart was in his throat. He couldn't help but wonder why Trudy had insisted on absolute secrecy… If Stella had been hurt on the job, then surely it was just a matter of letting the House know and soon they'd been filled to the rafters with visitors… especially Kelly.

That's what he was most worried about. If this was something straight forward she would have told him to bring Kelly.

The ER doors whooshed open and he stepped in, taking one moment to locate Trudy standing off to the side with her cell phone to her ear. "Yeah, yeah… I'm on my way back… is Upton there? Burgess? Keep at least one of them there… I need to talk to them about a potential case."

She ended the call and shoved the phone in her pocket.

"Hey," Mouch stepped up to her and was shocked when she stepped in toward him and hugged him close, "how are you?"

"How am I?" Her voice held a strange rasp in it as if she was holding back tears. "You didn't see her… you didn't see the pain in her eyes… the bruises." She stepped back and she pressed her hands over her heart. "They'll only get worse."

"Do you know," Mouch had to approach this carefully, "what happened?"

"I can guess. Anyone can guess when you take a look at her. I called you because I need your help."

"Sure!" Mouch was happy for anything he could do. Not just because Trudy was upset, but because he knew this was about Stella. "What do you need?"

"What house is she stationed at now?"

Mouch opened his mouth. The first number in his head was 51, but that wasn't true. Not anymore. Not since Chief Grissom got involved. "She's at 36."

Trudy nodded. "That explains why she was in our area." She could see his confusion. "A passing motorist found her collapsed on the sidewalk. No id, no keys. Just St- She was dressed but it looked like it hadn't stopped whoever did this. I'm guessing she walked out of the house while they weren't looking. By now, they'll have realized she's missing."

"Wait." Mouch put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you telling me you think this happened at a firehouse?"

Trudy looked at him for a long moment and then nodded. "She didn't say so, but I have a feeling. She's still on this shift right?"

Mouch nodded. "And if she'd been anywhere else, she'd have more with her. Identification."

Trudy agreed. "If I'm right they're likely circling the wagons right now. Tossing her stuff if they have it. When I get back to the station. I'm meeting with one of the women from intelligence."

"And this Jane Doe thing?"

"Stella's request."

Trudy's eyes spoke volumes but Mouch was still glad when she explained. "She knows she can't keep it from Kelly forever," she told him, "but she's afraid that once he has any clue of what happened to her at 36-"

Mouch shook his head and found his heart thundering in his chest, "He'd kill them!"

Slapping a hand over his mouth, Trudy looked toward the end of the ER. April and Maggie had lowered the lights in the hallway and drawn all the blinds and curtains closed.

When Trudy was sure she had silenced Mouch, she lifted her hand from his mouth. "Now tell me, why did she change houses."

Mouch nodded. "I'll tell you what I know."

#

April stood at the side of Stella's bed and struggled not to react to her own feelings in case Stella opened her eyes. She didn't need to see the horror that April felt.

Ethan sat beside Stella on a stool, asking her questions. Stella answered them as best she could.

"I'm not sure," she told him, "I know two of them. There were more. I could hear more, but I could only see two."

Nodding, Ethan didn't meet April's eyes and she was glad. "Stella, do you know if you were… if you were-" He'd asked these questions more than a few times over the years and it only made it harder that he knew Stella personally. That he knew all of the people on her shift at 51 and April… she knew Severide so well.

He was a professional, so this interview/intake should be something he could do in his sleep, but knowing it was someone he cared about.

"What I mean is-"

"Yes," she drew in a breath and let it out. "I don't know who," there was a hitch in her voice, "or how many. They told me to keep quiet, but I didn't. I started to scream and kick and that's when someone hit me across the back of my head."

Stella opened her eyes for a minute and saw Maggie at the end of her bed.

"I woke up on top of a pile of turnout gear. My pants were still around my ankles, my shirt and bra still on... but pushed up under my arms. I didn't know if they were coming back, but I wasn't going to wait. I pulled things back into place and took my shoes and left the house."

Maggie moved and touched Stella gently on her blanket covered leg. "You did good, Stella. You got out of there… you got yourself help."

Stella didn't seem to register the words. "I let myself get trapped. I walked right into it."

April leaned over the rails on her bed and picked up her hand, gently. "Don't say that. This wasn't your fault."

When Stella swung her head to look at April's face, the nurse felt the impact of Stella's pain like a punch. "Of course it was," Stella's voice was barely a whisper, "I just got in the way. And I'm not reporting this. Treat me and then let me go." Stella's voice didn't get above a whisper but they could all hear the utter determination in her voice.

April felt her heart break and she lifted Stella's hand to cradle it against her stomach. "Please, Stella, you have to."

Stella's head dropped and Ethan looked over at the monitors. "She's asleep. I need to get her into a CT scan to look for head injuries." He got up and looked at Maggie. "We need someone to do the kit."

All three of them knew what the unspoken word was in that sentence.

Maggie nodded. "I can do it." She looked at April. "I don't think you should."

April nodded. "I don't think I could hold it together…" she looked at Ethan. "Even with this Jane Doe stuff… you know Kelly's going to find out and when he comes-"

"Yeah," Ethan agreed, "you should be there for him. This is going to be hell on both of them."

Maggie walked back into the exam area. "Imaging is waiting for her. I'll do the kit when she comes back." She met Ethan's eyes. "You want me to call Dr. Charles?"

"Yeah, yeah," he nodded, "he knows Stella... so inform him before he comes down."

April stretched out her leg and unlocked the wheels on her side of the table. Ethan did it on his side and they were off.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

By the time the breakfast line started, everyone noticed that Mouch wasn't there. Manfredi, the temporary replacement they had during Stella's short reassignment to Public Relations was happily piling breakfast sausages and pancakes on his plate.

"Captain," Herrmann caught Casey's eye, "what's Manfredi doing back?"

Casey could feel everyone's eyes turning to him. "Mouch had a personal matter and I called in to get a floater to finish out the shift."

Otis and Cruz rolled their eyes, while Herrmann put it out in a straightforward manner.

"He'll finish all of our breakfasts if he doesn't remember to leave something for the rest of us."

With a shrug Manfredi moved on down the line.

Gabby looked up at Matt. "What's wrong with Mouch?"

He opened his mouth and then changed his mind.

Setting down her glass of orange juice, Gabby asked him again. "What happened to Mouch?"

"It was a personal matter, Gabby. I can't say anything else, okay?"

Beside her, Severide winced. "That wasn't the right answer."

"I'm stuck," Case explained, "if he wanted everyone to know, we'd know. Until I hear otherwise from him, no one goes down to Med."

"Med?" Cruz sat back in his chair and looked at Casey. "Did he have another heart attack?"

"Nooo…" Matt found himself stuck between a lot of rocks. "It's not Mouch."

"Whoa." Otis pushed his chair back so he could turn to Matt. "This is about Trudy?"

"Look." Matt stood at his table and met everyone's eyes. "We have a shift to work. If and when Mouch needs us for anything, he'll let us know."

It didn't really sit well with any of them, but then the alarm went off. "Truck 81, Ambo 61, Squad 3…"

#

Stella opened her eyes when the curtain was drawn closed around her. Looking up into Maggie's kind eyes, Stella wanted to cry. Instead she bit down on her back teeth and held herself together.

"I need to do an examination and take a number of photos for the record."

If she hadn't been laying down, she would have fallen or lost whatever if was she had in her stomach.

Oh, yeah. Nothing.

"Hey?" April touched her shoulder. "What are you thinking about?"

Stella raised her eyes and met April's dark gaze looking back at her. "I threw up earlier," she confessed it as if she could taste it on her tongue and maybe she did, "while they held me down I threw up everything in my stomach."

April nodded. "Anything you remember, let me know. I'll write it down… It'll help when you decide to call the police."

Stella shook her head. "I don't want to report this. I won't."

Maggie's heart was already hurting. "Let us do this for you, Stella. Let us do this so if you decide to report it later, there's a record."

"If there's a kit… there's a chance the word will get out.. if that happens…" the thought seemed to push Stella closer to tears, "…then he's going to find out."

April felt the magnetic pull of Stella's pain. She knew she didn't have to ask in her heart, but she had to be sure. "Kelly?"

Stella started to stop and reached out her hand. April latched onto it and held tight. She looked at Maggie and nodded.

Maggie lifted up the sheet covering the lower part of Stella's body and began the examination.

#

Kelly opened up the door to his apartment. To 'their' apartment. "Stella?"

Silence answered him as he dropped the keys on the table beside the door. Walking to the window at the far side of their bedroom he looked out at the parking lot.

Her car was there, but it wasn't her usual spot. Mr. McNare was going to throw a shit fit when he saw it later.

Shaking his head, he dropped his bag down by the window. "Hey, Stella?" He made it all the way to her old bedroom before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Dialing.

It went straight to voicemail.

"Damn it, Stella." Turning back around he walked into the main living area of the apartment and he looked at the kitchen counter. Her charging chord wasn't there. "Okay, so where are you?"

Grabbing his keys back up he walked out the front door and started walking around the building.

#

Doctor Charles was there beside the bed when Stella woke up in her own room. The drugs they'd given her seemed to wear off just as they were starting to work.

"Hey there."

She looked up at him and blinked. "Hi, Dr. Charles."

"How are they treating you down here?"

"Good." She licked her lips and swallowed. "I'm fine."

He smiled at her and got up from his chair slowly. Taking care to watch her reaction. No flinch. No fear.

She looked back at him. "I'm not afraid of you, Doctor. You don't have to walk on egg shells."

He crossed to the side table and poured her a cup of water, taking the time to put a straw in the top. "Water?"

"Yes, please," she groaned, "any chance you can put something a little stronger in the cup? These pain meds suck."

He held the cup while she took a long sip of water and then another. "Never mind," she mumbled, "water is great." She offered him a little smile. "But if you could get them to give me a few more pills or something in the IV?"

Dr. Charles lifted the cup toward her again, but she shook off the offer. He set down the cup and looked into her eyes. "Are you in pain, Stella?"

"Ha!" She winced after the outburst. "Yeah, I'm in pain. Every inch from head to toe hurts… but if I thought it would keep this from getting back to 51. I'd take every ache and pain and triple it."

"Stella?" Dr. Charles stood at the side of her bed and held onto the railing. "You know your friends at 51 are not going to blame you for what happened."

"I'm not worried about that." She shook her head. "I just want to put this behind me. "I just know this is going to hurt Kelly."

Dr. Charles let some silence fall between them. "Because he loves you?"

She shook with cough of nervous laughter. "Kelly cares for me, Dr. Charles. He does… and I… care for him too, but if there's one thing I don't want to be is the wall that separates him from everything he's worked for."

"That's not going to happen-"

"You can't guarantee that, Doctor Charles, no one can. I don't want him to look back one day and realize that all I brought him was grief."

She shifted on the bed and her face twisted in pain. Reaching blindly for the call button, Dr. Charles stood up beside her bed and put the control in her hand. She gave him a quick nod of thanks and pressed the button.

He smiled at her. "Look, I'm going to make my rounds and then I'll be back to check in on you."

"I'll be okay on my own, Dr. Charles, but thank you."

"You know I'm here for you, Stella… even when you're not sure you want me to be… just call for me even if it's just to play a game of cards, okay?"

She shook her head. "I'm going to be out of here in few hours as long as everything comes back from my tests okay."

"And where are you doing to go, Stella?"

The question hit her like a wall and she met his eyes again he saw the pain in her… pain that he'd caused.

"I don't know, Doctor. I don't know how I'm going to tell him…"

"I can be there if you want."

She laughed even as tears coursed down her cheeks. "That's not going to make this any easier."

"Okay, then…" he nodded, "I'll check in later, just in case."

Just as he stepped out into the hall, she called to him. "Dr. Charles?"

He looked back in. "Yes, Stella?"

She drew in a shuddering breath and then let it out again. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Stella. You know I'm always here for you."

#

Kelly looked up at the sound of a car pulling into the parking lot coming his way. The passenger door of the car opened before it was even in park and Gabby walked right over to him. "What's going on?"

Kelly jerked a thumb at the car. "This is her car. She's not in the apartment. She's not anywhere in the building. I called her cell … straight to voicemail."

Matt joined them. "Any chance she had a friend pick her up and she went out with them?"

Gabby narrowed her eyes. "If that was the case, it would be me or Brett."

"What about the guys from 81? Maybe she went out with Herrmann or Mouch." Something in his head tugged at his thoughts. "Mouch."

He looked at Gabby and Kelly. "I need to make a phone call." He stepped back to the car and pulled out his phone.

Kelly felt Gabby's touch on his arm.

"Look, I know PD won't take the call for 24 hours. But you know that doesn't mean a damn thing to Antonio. You want me to-" she shook her head. "Never mind, I'm calling."

Kelly stood there, leaning against Stella's car feeling like he wasn't really there. What was he going to be able to do to find her? It was just like she'd disappeared into thin air.

Still, whatever he needed to do, he was going to find her and then he was going to find a way to bring her back to 51. It didn't matter what Grissom wanted.

Not when it came to Stella. He was tired of waiting for the rest of his life, he was going to live it the way he wanted and with the woman he wanted… that he needed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Mouch knocked on the door frame and waited for her to respond before he poked his head in. "Hey there."

Stella managed to lift her head and give him a little smile. "Hey."

When she started to sit up, he held out his hand to stop here. "Hey, no, you don't need to sit up."

Nodding she settled back into the bed with a soft groan. "I thought you'd gone home already."

"Naw. Trudy's still at work, so I figure I'd stay here and see if you needed some company." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a deck of cards. "I got these at the gift store. So if you want to lose a lot of money to me at poker, then we're covered." He shrugged and gestured to a chair beside her bed. "Besides, it's been so long since we've seen each other."

Stella closed her eyes and he thought he saw tears glistening in the corners of her eyes, but when she opened them they were gone. "Yeah, it's been awhile." She managed a little smile. "Although seeing you like this sucks." Her expression brightened a bit. "Next time, let's go to Molly's or somewhere else for dinner, huh?"

Mouch reached out a hand and covered one of hers. "As soon as you're up to it. My treat."

"Oh," she mustered up a bigger smile, "I like the sound of that."

A knock on the door had Stella jumping a little. They both turned toward the door and Stella gave an audible sigh as she saw Dr. Choi in the doorway.

"How are you doing, Stella?"

She nodded. No wisecracks again this time, just a quiet look about her that made Mouch worry even more.

"I have the results from our first round of tests." He sat down beside her on a rolling stool he'd found against the wall. "As per our discussion earlier," he explained, "we've already given you medications to ward off sexually transmitted diseases and the morning after pill to prevent pregnancy."

Stella lay still in the bed, barely moving. Barely even breathing.

"We'll continue to monitor you over time and make sure there aren't any long lasting physical effects."

Ethan laid the back of his clipboard against his thigh, looking back and forth between Mouch and Stella, finally settling on her. "Stella, would you like him to stay for the rest of our conversation?"

Mouch shifted in his chair. "Stella, sweetie, if you don't want me here that's fine, but if you don't I can step outside and give you some privacy."

There was a long pause before Stella spoke. Mouch felt Stella's fingers grab onto his hand and met his eyes. "I don't think I can do this alone, but if you don't want to stay… you don't have to."

He was reminded of a night not so long ago when they'd sat in the darkened TV room and spoken about how she saw herself as a firefighter. He turned in his chair and met her gaze straight on. "Stella Kidd, you are without a doubt one of the strongest people I have the pleasure of knowing. If you want me here then here I will stay. Today," he told her, "let me be the one to pull you out of a bad place."

They shared a smile before Ethan began to speak.

"From the examination you were given we can tell that there's extensive bruising and tearing. We want to keep you here for at least a few days under observation for any issues that might arise. We've already contacted your OBGYN and she will be here within the hour to see you."

Mouth felt Stella's hand tighten around his convulsively, and he turn to focus his attention on her.

Ethan continued to speak, and give her the current status of her treatment. Stella's eyes dulled as the diagnosis went on and he couldn't blame her. They were used to saving others from pain, accepting that they would be injured some time or another on the job. But if Stella had been hurt by others in their profession Kelly wouldn't be the only one wanting blood. The entire firehouse including Chief Boden would want in.

The next step, finding a way to get Stella to see Kelly. The longer it took, the more upset the Lieutenant would be.

#

"Chicago Med ER, this is April-"

"April, hey, this is Kelly."

"Kelly," she looked over her shoulder at Maggie and saw the other nurse wince in sympathy, "how are you doing?"

"Sorry, but I wanted to call and see if Stella's at Med. Her car's at home, so I thought she was too, but she's not in the building, she's not answering her cell. I'm getting desperate here."

She took in a long breath and closed her eyes. "Yeah, sorry, Kelly, but Stella's not here in the ER. Is there somewhere else she might have gone?"  
"Without her car?" She heard him hiss out a breath and mutter a curse too. "Look, if you hear anything, call me, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," April held back a sigh of relief, "if I hear from Stella, I'll have her call you. Okay?"

"Yeah, thanks, April… I'm worried about her."

He hung up a moment later and April took the hug that Maggie offered.

"We're all worried about her too."

Maggie nodded in agreement. "She needs to tell him before he finds out from someone else."

#

Antonio pulled up outside of Molly's and Gabby was the first to get to him.

"Have you heard anything about Stella?"

Antonio shook his head. "Nothing in the logs or scanners. Where was she earlier?"

Gabby answered him as Kelly walked up. "She was transferred to 36 a few weeks ago."

Kelly saw Antonio's confusion and filled him in. "Grissom brought her over there to have her work with his truck guys."

"That can't be easy for you two."

Nodding, Kelly agreed. "Grissom is an old friend of my father's. I think he was trying to do me a favor, he said if she did a good enough job over there he would see about advancing her rank. Even though Stella turned down the offer, we got the transfer papers a few days after."

Matt nodded. "I think she was just trying to smooth things over between you and Grissom."

Kelly nodded. "Yeah. She probably was. Grissom can be like a dog with a bone. Honestly, it was a relief to get his focus off of me."

"And I told Stella if she didn't like it at 36, I was holding her space open at 51." Matt looked at Antonio. "So what can we do to look for her?'

They talked about a few options and decided to split up.

Kelly would go and talk to Grissom, see if something happened at work. Gabby and Matt were going to Molly's North on the off chance that she caught a ride there after her shift.

As the other two cars pulled away, Kelly leaned against his hood and pulled out his phone. The call rang through a few times and then went to voicemail. Odd, but not unheard of.

After the beep, he left a quick message. "Hey, Grissom, it's Kelly. Just checking in… I'm looking for Stella. Do you know where she went after her shift? Look, I'm headed over to 36. If you get this before I get there, call me back, ok?"

#

Maggie stopped into Stella's room to check on her. "Hey."

Stella lifted a hand to shush her and then pointed out Mouch asleep in a chair with his head tilted back against the wall.

Walking around to the other side of the bed she tugged up a stool and sat beside her. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that Kelly called the ER worried about you. No, we didn't tell him that you were here, but that's why I came up instead of April. She told him she'd let him know if she saw you."

Stella grimaced and Maggie smiled at her. "It was all she could think of at the moment. So I wanted to ask if you're ready to see him. He's making himself sick with worry, Stella."

"He's going to be so mad," Stella turned her eyes to the ceiling and then blew out a breath, "I wish he didn't have to know."

"Stella, it's going to take days before the bruising goes down. Even if you put make up on and cover it all he's going to try to touch you at some point and then he's going to know. You're strong, but you're still human."

Maggie could see that she was getting through to Stella. She only hoped it would happen soon. She was almost to the door when Stella called out to her.

"Maggie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that Doctor Charles might be able to see me first?"

Maggie felt her heart twist in her chest. This was far from the brash and outgoing woman she saw from time to time at Med. Stella was hurting inside and out and it was horrible to watch her suffer. "Sure, I'll page him for you."

#

Kelly parked his car out front of House 36 and scanned the parking lot out back. Grissom's car wasn't in. Looking at his phone he didn't see any new calls or messages. Pushing the phone back into his pocket he walked in through the door that lead onto the equipment floor. He saw a few of the guys cleaning up some of the equipment on the truck. Their conversation stopped when they saw Kelly, and one of the men ducked out into the kitchen, pulling the door shut behind him.

It gave Kelly a strange feeling. He managed to catch the eye of one of the men that remained behind. "Hey, is Grissom around?"

They all looked at each other before answering him.

"No."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The problem was that everyone at House 36 were all from third shift. As far as they knew, Stella left at the end of her shift, but no one, not a single one of them had seen her leave.

And Grissom? He wasn't answering his phone. Kelly was at his wits end. He'd gone through every neighboring town and city, calling emergency numbers. Surely Antonio had done that earlier, but he had to have something to keep him from going insane with worry.

He had to find her and soon.

Night was almost on them and all he could think about was Stella alone, hurt, waiting for him. He had to do something or lose his sh*t. "He'd go back to intelligence. If he needed to he'd bring Voight into it. He was wiling to use every favor he held and give more away as well. Whatever it took to know that Stella had been found.

#

April looked at Stella. "Are you ready?"

Stella shook her head. "No, but if I wait any longer… I don't think I'll ever be able to look at him again. This isn't," her eyes sought April's in the low light of the room, "I don't want to hurt him."

Her smile was full of genuine affection and sympathy. "He's going to hurt, Stella. Kelly… Kelly cares for you so much… he's just going to be so glad that you're alive. And that you want to reach out to him."

"He has so much on his plate right now. He's not going to let this go and he needs to think clearly. You know how many risks he takes on a given day."

April sat on the edge of the bed and took Stella's hand in hers. "Do you know what it would do to him for you to walk out of his life. Give him the chance to show him how much you… care for him… and I think you'll see that his focus will be on taking care of you. He'll suffer without you. Don't do that to him."

Stella pondered her words carefully and slowly nodded. "Dr. Charles?"

The mature doctor, with his gentle smile stepped into the room. "Hey there. It's good to see you smiling a little."

"Smiling?" Stella lifted her hand from April's hold and touched the side of her face. "I didn't realize. I thought… I was sure… I wouldn't know how."

Dr. Charles touched Stella's shoulder gently. "You'll see, Stella. It will take a lot of strength, but you'll get back your smile. "We'll be there with you until you do."

"And you'll be there, to tell him what we talked about? So he knows why I've been hiding?"

The older doctor nodded. "I hope you'll stop calling it hiding, Stella. Everyone needs time to gather their thoughts. He'll see that."

The look on Stella's face said she wasn't convinced, but he could also see the resolution in her expression and her intent gaze.

"Go head," Stella nodded at April, "call him."

#

Kelly passed by the front desk on his way up to the Intelligence office and noticed that Trudy wasn't there. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and waited for Antonio Dawson and Burgess to clear the security door. "Any word?"

Antonio shrugged, but Kelly saw Burgess's normally pale complexion pale even further.

But before Kelly could ask her, his phone rang and his heart dropped.

CHICAGO MED ER

He answered as quickly as he could make his hands work. "April? Have you heard-"

He heard the words and some of them even sank into his head.

The most important part of the message caught his attention and held tight.

"Come to the ER. I'll meet you at the door."

#

He drove the entire way with his heart pounding in his chest. Stella was in the hospital. Stella was hurt.

He needed to get to her. Fairly sure he'd parked in an actual spot before he left it and slammed the door behind him. It took seconds, heartbreaking seconds before he saw April and almost knocked her over before he could stop. "Where?"

"Kelly, hold on."

"Where is she, April?" He saw the heartbroken look in her eyes. "Stella," his breath was coming in short pants of air, "is she alive?"

"Yeah," she touched his arm, "she's alive."

He bent over, hands on his knees, stars prickling his vision nearly making him blind with relief. "She's alive."

"Kelly? Lieutenant?"

Kelly could hear Dr. Charles in his ear.

"Before we take you to see Stella, we need to talk."

Kelly stood up fast enough to make himself dizzy. "No, no more waiting."

April walked into his eye line. "Kelly you need to-"

"She's alive," he told them, "everything else doesn't matter. Just take me to her so I can see it for myself. Then you can talk all you want once I've seen her."

Dr. Charles shook his head. "I can't allow you to do that, Kelly. There's something you need to know before you see Stella."

God, the things that went through his head. The horrors they could probably read on his face.

"No." He took a step back, almost bumping into a passing nurse. "No." He turned on April. "You said she was alive. You take me to her… Right… Now."

She shook her head, her eyes filled with challenge. "You can't. Not until you listen to Dr. Charles."

"I need to see Stella."

Dr. Charles was like an immovable wall. "You need to get your head on straight, Kelly. You can't see her right now, you'd scare her."

His words felt like a knife to his chest. "Who are you to tell me…"

"Stella is my patient right now and you need to understand something."

Kelly was biting his bottom lip, barely controlling his frustration and anger. "What?"

"From the moment she was hurt everything she had done was to keep you from finding out… to keep you from having to see her in pain. To keep your temper in check."

"My temper? You make it sound like she's afraid of me."

"No," Dr. Charles' voice was filled with conviction, "she's not the least bit afraid of you… she's afraid for you."

That little tidbit had Kelly staring at the doctor as his mind struggled to piece together the information.

"Afraid… how?"

"Afraid that when you find out what happened, you're not going to react well."

"I've been searching for her for hours. Hours! I've been imagining all kinds of crazy stuff in my head. I've been worried that she was lying somewhere, in the cold, hurt… dying… and I wasn't there!

"Now you're telling me that she's been here all along and worried that when I find out what happened, I'm going to lose my temper?"

He saw April shaking her head in his peripheral vision.

"What?"

"This isn't what she was worried about, Kelly." She gestured to one of the rooms off to the side. In the room there was a table and a couple of chairs. "Why don't we sit down and talk."

His heart stopped beating in his chest. His lungs forgot to breathe. And somewhere in the center of his mind he knew panic beyond reason. "Why?" His voice almost cracked as April's eyes looked back at him with such gentle sorrow that he felt like his whole heart was breaking in pieces. "What happened?"

April took his arm and started walking. "Stella said we could explain some things to you. When we're done… and you're ready to see her… we can go up to her room"

He made his feet move. He needed to know what it was that they were facing, because no matter what he was going to be beside her doing what he could to help her any way he could. He only hoped that she believed that.

He sat in the chair that April pointed out to him and felt a shiver pass through them when Dr. Charles closed the door behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Kelly stared at April, begging for information. "What happened?"

April took his arm and started walking. "Stella said we could explain some things to you. When we're done… and you're ready to see her… we can go up to her room"

He made his feet move. He needed to know what it was that they were facing, because no matter what he was going to be beside her doing what he could to help her any way he could. He only hoped that she believed that.

He sat in the chair that April pointed out to him and felt a shiver pass through them when Dr. Charles closed the door behind him.

"First," Dr. Charles began. "We want you to know that from the moment Sgt. Platt brought Stella in to the ER, Stella has been under the very best of care in both our ER and in her private room. She was given a Jane Doe status because given the close nature of the relationship that the CFD has with Chicago Med. Stella was concerned that her presence here wouldn't stay private for long."

April nodded, continuing on with the story. "Maggie, Ethan, and I took care of Stella from the moment she was brought in." Lifting the clipboard that was on the table she read off the list to him. "Multiple contusions to the face, deep bruising on her arms and legs. Stella wasn't able to much of anything that happened to her, but given the pieces of her memory that she put together, we did a rape kit. DNA evidence, was taken and catalogued along with photographs so that if she decides to file a complaint, we have the evidence we'll need." April had rushed through the last part of it, but she couldn't seem to keep her eyes off of his face.

Kelly wasn't moving. As April watched him, he didn't even breathe.

Dr. Charles leaned forward on the chair he was standing behind and look Kelly straight in the face. "Kelly, do you understand what we've told you?"

Kelly lifted his gaze to meet the doctor's. "And she's alive."

"Yes," Doctor Charles nodded slowly. "She was attacked but now she's here."

"She's safe." April held herself still as if she was waiting to see what he'd do. "And she's waiting to see you. When you're ready."

It only took a second for Kelly to locate the trashcan sitting in the corner of the room. Lurching out of his chair he grabbed for the trash can and emptied the meager contents of his stomach into the small metal container.

#

Stella knew the moment that Kelly showed up outside her door. She heard soft voices. Knew the familiar shuffle of Mouch's feet outside the door. She heard a soft conversation that included Trudy's voice as well.

It was likely a stall tactic on behalf of both of them and Stella couldn't help but let out an unsteady breath. Her heartrate started a steady climb and she started to draw in one slow breath after another and then when she was nearly ready to break there was a knock at the door.

Mouch's face appeared in the door way, he was holding the door tight to his chest. "You ready for some company?"

God, she wanted to say no. She wanted to beg for time, but she knew it wasn't going to work. Putting Kelly of any longer was only going to hurt him more.

Nodding, she settled back in bed and pulled the sheet up higher, almost to her shoulders.

#

Kelly resisted the urge to push past Mouch. That wasn't going to do anyone any good and he'd already promised April and Dr. Charles that he was going to keep his shit together.

For her.

For Stella.

And thank his lucky stars that she was there for him to talk to. That she survived hell and got herself some help. She was tough… and then she wasn't.

But he was going to do whatever it took to be there for her now.

Mouch stepped back, leaving the door open, and gave him a nod. "Go ahead."

Kelly swallowed and yet, he couldn't, his mouth was dry like a desert. He moved closer and pushed the door open a little bit more, his eyes searching the softly lit room for Stella.

She was laid out in the bed, still and calm, and even though he couldn't see her face clearly he could feel her eyes on his face.

"Can I come in?"

He saw the slight movement of her head before he heard her voice. "Yeah. Sure."

He moved into the room and slowly closed the door behind him, shocked at how loud the 'click' of the lock could sound. "You okay with me coming closer?"

She nodded again. "Yeah, go ahead."

He heard her breath catch in her throat when he reached the base of her bed. "If you want me to stop, Stella. Just say so. I don't want to scare you."

Her hand lifted, and she wiped at her cheeks. "Actually," he heard her swallow and then suck in a ragged breath, "how silly would I sound if I said I want to touch your face?"

"Baby, you can have whatever you want from me."

She lifted her hand from the sheet and held it out to him.

He let out a moan and moved closer to the bed, taking her hand gently in his. Reaching back his free hand he found the arm of the chair beside her bed and pulled it closer. Once he lowered himself into the chair he reached for the bed control and lowered the hospital bed down to the bottom. Leaning forward he set his elbows on the edge of the bed, and leaned as close as he could before he took her hand, that was holding onto his, and brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek.

And then over the soft scrub of his stubble before he touched her knuckles with his lips.

"Oh, God, Kelly."

He heard her sob and pressed her palm against his cheek. "Stella, babe, don't-" he was going to tell her not to cry, but if she wanted to cry, hell, if she wanted to scream, he was going to let her. "Don't feel like you have to keep anything inside."

She turned on her side in the bed, her eyes meeting his through the half-darkness. "They told you, right?" She seemed to shrink into the bedding. "They told you what happened to me?"

He was prepared to hold it together for her sake, but he wasn't prepared for her pain. "Yeah," his heart ached in his chest as if it was dying, "yeah, they told me."

"And?" She sucked in a breath that trembled more than the hand he had cradled against his cheek. "Are you going to be able to get over this?"

His eyes widened, and he struggled to meet her eyes in the shadows cast over her face. "Stella, what-"

"I'm asking," she shook her head, "although I feel crazy stupid for asking, because if you tell me no, Kelly… I don't think I'll survive it."

"Are you," he shook his head, "are you asking me if I'll still love you after this?"

"Yeah," she shifted on the bed, moaning in mindless pain, "I need to know if you'll ever be able to tou- to touch me ever again." She moved her hand slightly, her fingertips brushing against the lobe of his ear. "If not, go ahead and tell me now. I can handle it… I just need to know."


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews.. I see a lot of people making this a Favorite of Following it, but not a lot of people commenting... I really love to know what you think

and for the GUESTS if you review and ask me a question, I can't answer you...

but no there is no set schedule for posts... I write this alongside my other writing as a fun exercise... so I will try to keep it up, but I have deadlines that I'm working with... so I'll do my best... but really reviews make it easier to get jazzed on a story :D

* * *

Chapter Seven

Kelly heard her words and ached for her. "Stella?"

He heard her ragged breath.

"Stella? Look at me."

When she looked up Kelly closed his hand over hers where it touched his cheek.

"Baby, I need you to know that nothing is going to change how I feel about you." He leaned into her palm. "I love you, Stella. God, I love you so damn much I felt like I was going to break when I couldn't find you."

"But Dr. Charles told you. He said he was going to tell you what happened to me. You know that they… what they did to me."

He squeezed his eyes shut and fought back the tears, not for himself. She didn't need to see how much this was tearing him apart.

"What they did, they're gonna pay for, Stella, but it doesn't change things between us. It doesn't."

"Kelly?"

He heard the confusion in her voice, saw the furrow in her brow even with the low light from the panel above the bed. "Yeah?"

"You said," her voice trembled, "you said you love me."

Guilt sank like a rock in his middle. Why had he waited so damn long?

"Yeah," he met her eyes and brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. "I love you, Stella. I can't stand to see you in pain."

She almost laughed. "You know I love you, right?"

The look in her eyes and the hopeful sound in her voice was like a one-two punch to his gut.

"I love you, Kelly. I've said it a million times in my head, but I couldn't tell you before… or maybe that it's that I wouldn't tell you. I didn't want to be… clingy… or whatever, but after what happened," she swallowed and he could barely hear the sound even though he saw the effort it took, "I needed you to know how I felt."

"Baby, can I hold you?"

He saw her hesitate.

"If it hurts too much, that's okay. I just want to feel like I can hold you close… to protect you now, even though I couldn't before."

Her eyes killed him. Normally full of laughter or mischief, they were dull and clouded with pain.

But before his thoughts could be swallowed up with rage or despair, she saved him yet again.

"I want you to hold me, Kelly. I need to have you close."

Together, they managed to scoot Stella over to one side of the hospital bed and then Kelly took off his boots and his jacket and climbed up beside her.

He let her nudge him into place, his gaze watching her face closely for sighs of pain or stress. But with her attention focused on getting him 'just right' on the bed, the tension in her shoulders seemed to ease and the draw look of her features softened and turned tender under his watchful gaze.

Kelly didn't question when she left her pillow trapped under his shoulder, he just opened his arms and let her move in against him. She fit her shoulder under his arm and stretched out her body alongside his. And finally, he felt his heart throb painfully in his chest as she laid her head on his shoulder and draped her top arm over his waist.

She hummed as she snuggled closer, the sound vibrating through his t-shirt and into his skin.

"Are you hurting?" He had to know. Wanted to shield her from anything he could. "Stella, you have to tell me if I'm hurting you."

"Shhh…" she rubbed her palm lightly up and down his back, soothing _him_. "I just want to hold you, Kelly. I want to know that I'm still alive and that everything is going to be okay."

"Babe, please-"

"I just want to listen to your heartbeat, Sev, please. I want to sleep, but every time I close my eyes…"

He heard the unspoken truth in her words. She couldn't sleep because every time she tried, she was right back where she was.

"I'm here, Stella. I'm not going to let them hurt you anymore. Get some sleep and let me hold you, so I can know that you're safe… and here with me."

He knew he couldn't touch her back, April had already told him she had bruises up and down her back. But he could put his hand on her hip, his palm gently cupping the swell of her thigh at the top of her leg.

She looked like she was fighting sleep at first, her eyelids started to close but would flutter open as if she was afraid of the dark and trying to keep her eyes on the light.

"Go ahead, Stella, close your eyes… I'm here."

She nodded, slowly, her cheek rubbing against his chest, her arm bringing them closer together.

"I'm here."

Stella drew in a breath and let it out, the warmth working its way through his shirt and fanning out over his skin. "With me," she sighed.

"Yeah, babe. I'm here with you… and that's where I'm going to stay."

He felt her cheek tremble against him. "Kelly, I'm- I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey," he lifted his hand and touched his knuckle just under her chin, lifting her face so that she could see his eyes, "you do _not_ have anything to be sorry for. You concentrate on healing up so I can get you home and spoil you rotten."

"Spoil me, huh?"

He felt her relax a little, melting against his harder frame. "That's my plan."

"I might want you waiting on me, hand and foot."

Her eyelids looked heavier, sliding closed by fractions of an inch at a time.

"I think could do that, Stella."

"Really?" There was almost laughter in her voice. "I think I'd like the bragging rights on that." Her lips parted on a yawn before she snuggled even closer. "Imagine all the women in the world jealous like hell of me. Because I have you."

"And because I have you, I don't mind doing whatever it takes to make you feel safe. And loved."

Her hum rolled through his body and he felt her lips pressed against the shirt just beneath his collar bone. "I did," she mumbled, barely audible to his ears, "I felt loved, even before you told me… just like I love you, Sev…"

And then she was out, fast asleep.

And that's when he let the tears fall.

***In a bar across town***

Tim Caldwell walked out of the john and moved back to his table. The other three men holding down the high-top barely met his eyes and they certainly weren't trying to make contact with any of the other patrons in the bar.

"Salvado from Third Shift said that Severide stopped by the house, looking for answers." Kellen's voice was tense with worry.

Vincent shook his head. "I doubt he got any."

"Did Salvado say anything about how he looked?" Cooper Parsons stared down into his beer. "Did it look like he knew?"

"Knew what, asshat?" Caldwell hissed at his friend. "You think that bitch said anything about us?"

"If they figure out it's us," Vincent looked green at the gills, "that's the end of our careers."

"Whatever," Caldwell shot back, "you think I'd be that stupid? To risk my career over a piece of ass? You've got me confused with one of those pussies at 51."

Cooper glared at him. "Keep your voice down."

Caldwell shrugged. "No one here cares about them. I know I don't. Keep your shit together."

Vincent shook his head. "Look. Boss got us all riled up. He's the one that wound you up and put the target on her back-"

"And you're sure he's got our backs?"

Caldwell swore under his breath. "What the hell, Kellen? What's your problem? You turning in your balls and going soft? You know that's not what he wants. He wound us up, sure, but he made it clear. No regrets. CFD may think having women on crew is a good thing. But all they're doing is looking to pull us down. Distract us from the work. Keep us from getting what's coming to us. We made his point so he's going to protect us just like he always has. So keep it together or get the hell out of Dodge."

The three other men didn't have the same reaction to his words, but none of them spoke up any more. They sat quietly, sulking in silence as they drained every drop from their glasses.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks, everyone for the reviews... I really want to thank you for sticking with me through this story. I don't take this topic lightly, and I'm trying to do it justice... please, I know it's hard to ask you to trust someone you don't know, but I'm going to do my absolute best to make the situation come out so everyone is happy... I hope you'll continue to review and let me know what you think...

* * *

Chapter Eight

The next morning, Kelly woke up when he heard Stella speak.

"Good Morning, Dr. Charles."

Kelly blinked his eyes open. "Hey, babe."

Stella's face flushed, making the contrast with her bruises even worse. He was saved from Stella seeing his reaction thanks to the doctor's quick thinking.

"Stella, are you ready to speak with the police?"

Kelly felt her indrawn breath and the rolling shivers that happened after. He smoothed his hand over her hip and a few inches lower on her thigh before he repeated the gesture, trying to calm her nerves. He wasn't sure he wanted her to say yes, knowing that she'd have to go through hell so soon after being there the first time, but he was also hoping she would. He didn't want her to bear the secret much longer.

"Stella?" Dr. Charles prompted her again and Kelly wanted to tell him to shut up. He didn't want anyone to push her if she wasn't ready.

"I'm ready," she blew out a breath. "I want to make the report."

Dr. Charles nodded slowly and Kelly gave the man some credit. He'd always been good to Stella, especially back when she was struggling with Grant's addiction. "Sergeant Platt said that both Upton and Burgess would be able to come down when you're ready. I just have to call."

"Would it…" she sucked in a breath, "do you think that Antonio would be willing to come down?"

"Antonio?" Kelly saw her turn to him after he asked the question. "You want to talk to him?"

"I know it sounds weird," she shook her head, "but I'm afraid if I talk to a woman I'll lose it. I don't want to see the sympathy in their eyes. For this, I need to see… something else."

"Whatever you want," Kelly let out a breath, "you want me to call him?"

Dr. Charles saved the day. "I'll be happy to call, the two of you can have some privacy while we wait for him to arrive."

Kelly heard Stella gasp in a breath and he gently pulled her closer to him. "Thank you, Dr. Charles."

The older man smiled. "Happy to help."

He was gone a moment later.

#

Antonio opened the door slowly after Stella answered his knock. He closed the door softly behind him as his eyes adjusted to the lower light. "Hey, Stella."

"'Tonio." She swallowed hard enough that they all heard it. "Thank you for coming."

He smiled and walked up to the foot of the bed and stopped when he saw her eyes widen and another rapid intake of breath.

Beside her on the bed, Kelly turned to look at Stella his face pinched in concern. "Stella?"

She shook her head "Too close… too close."

Kelly swung his head around to look at Antonio. "Step back."

No one had to ask him twice. Antonio took a few steps back from the bed, putting as much distance between them without leaning against the wall. "Sorry."

Stella shook her head. "Not your fault. It's not. I just had a weird…"

"Flashback?"

Stella nodded in reply to Antonio. "Yeah… something about you… " she closed her eyes and drew in a long steadying breath, "maybe your size? I dunno."

"Well that's fine, Stella. I can stand anywhere you like."

She looked up at Kelly and Antonio felt like he was intruding, watching as the two carried on a conversation with just their eyes.

Kelly finally nodded and looked back at Antonio. "Pull up a chair and I'll sit beside her so you two can talk."

Turning, Antonio found a chair about a foot away and lifted it from the ground to move it closer to the bed. Lowering himself into the chair he let the wheels carry him to Stella's bedside.

Kelly settled into the chair beside the bed, but as soon as he did he laid his arm across the bed and took Stella's hand in his.

Antonio noticed the looks between the two and he held back from commenting. It seemed like House 51 was a great place to find someone to love. "I'm not going to ask you questions from the beginning," he explained, "I just want you to tell me what you remember. After that, I may have some questions, but I need you to know that if you want to stop at any time. That's just fine, we don't have to get all of this now."

"Honestly?" She gave him a grimace. "I'd rather get it all done now. The less I have to think about it, the better."

He nodded. "Sounds like a plan." He set a tape recorder on the foot of the bed. "What do you remember?"

Stella slid a glance at Kelly. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"

He gave her hand a squeeze. "Up to you," he told her, "if this would be easier for you with me outside, I can go. Whatever's best for you."

She squeezed his hand again. "Stay. You should hear it from me, just so you know."

Antonio saw the pain in her eyes. Knew the worry he saw in Stella's eyes. She was afraid that hearing the facts would change how Severide saw her, but if what he saw in Kelly's face was any indication, that wasn't going to happen. Not by a long shot.

She started talking before she turned to look at Antonio.

"We'd just come back from a call to an apartment house. Ambo was leaving Med and we were closer, so we got to the apartment first. The Lieutenant wanted us to pick him up and put him in the truck. He thought the man was just drunk, but I wanted to take a look and that got the Lieutenant mad.

Antonio's eyes narrowed on her face. "Were any of the other firefighters on truck also EMTs?"

Stella shook her head. "Just me. It turns out the man had had a stroke. He'd looked and acted drunk, at least to the other patrons in the bar."

"But you knew better."

She gave Antonio a half-smile. "That's what the EMTs said when they got on scene a few minutes later. It didn't help that one of them laughed… loud." She sighed. "I didn't want to make anything of it so I just kept quiet, but by the time we got back to the House, the Lieutenant was ready to blow. He went into his office and I knew to stay far away from him. So I went downstairs to look for something to do. I was in the turnout room when he found me."

Kelly winced, and Antonio looked at their joined hands. Kelly's normally tanned skin was white beneath her short-cropped nails.

"He was even more angry than he'd been when we got back. He was… raving almost. I knew he wasn't big on having a woman on the Truck crew. He'd thought I was going to be weak that they'd have to 'carry me' on calls."

Antonio shook his head. "51 doesn't have the reputation it does because any of you are weak."

She smiled. "Thanks, if more people thought that, we'd be okay. But the Lieutenant said he'd been against me going to House 36 from the beginning, but Grissom," Stella's attention turned to Kelly for a heartbeat before turning back to Antonio, "didn't give him a chance to refuse. Caldwell said that I was his problem to fix. And he was done trying to be nice about it."

"I told him to write me up for insubordination if he wanted to. I stood up for the call I made with him and I'd do it to the Chief or anyone else that had an issue with it." Her voice was stronger, her breathing more even. "If there was anything I learned from 51, it was that I needed to stick to my guns when I was right. The fact that the EMTs agreed with me didn't seem to matter to him. I think Caldwell wouldn't let it go because I was a woman. He may be only a few years older than me but he's a complete throwback."

She grew silent for a moment, but Antonio didn't try to prompt her. He knew she had to get there on her own.

"The Lieutenant told me he wasn't going to waste time writing me up. With all the PC police in the CFD he knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. He knew that Grissom would have to publicly save his own face by doing what the media would assume was correct.

"When Kellan showed up, I knew I was in trouble." She took in one breath after another and the look in her eyes became unfocused. "Kellan smelled like booze, that cheap crap stuff you get at a convenience store like the one a few blocks down from 36. He crowded in close, leaned in like he was going to kiss me but I shoved him away. He fell over some boots and ended up sprawling on his back, making all kinds of noise as he hit a rack.

"That's when I started to back out of the room. I wanted to put as much distance between us as possible."

Kelly lowered his head a little, his shoulders tensing as if he was bracing for the impact of a wrecking ball.

"I wasn't sure what was happening until I felt someone… no, some _ones_ grab onto my arms.

"And pushed me down to my knees."

Antonio watched her eyes slip closed and tears wash over her cheeks, but Stella continued on with her story, giving him all the details she could remember.

By the time she was done, all three of them were in tears and Stella was back in Kelly's arms.


	9. Chapter 9

Just know... a HEA ending is guaranteed.. but it's gonna be tough before that...

I hope you'll keep commenting...

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Nine

When the next shift started, Severide was noticeable absent and a Lieutenant from 89 was subbing in his place. All heads turned to look at Casey and Boden hoping for some indication of what was going on. No one seemed to notice that Mouch was hanging back from the group, keeping quiet. When they were finished with the talk at the beginning of the shift the only ones who left the room were the Rescue Lieutenant and Chief Boden.  
"Casey," Herrmann was the first to speak up, "is Severide sick?"

He looked at Gabby and she returned the questioning look. They weren't sure what to do or say. Gabby took out her phone and dialed.

Severide answered after a few rings. "Gabby."

"Hey, what's up?" The others watched Gabby's expression change by degrees as she carried on, at least from what they heard, a one-sided conversation. It didn't take long but when she hung up they could tell she wasn't happy. "He's not sick, but he didn't want to explain over the phone. He'll come in near the end of shift and talk to all of us." She looked up at Matt and shook her head.

#

House 36 pulled onto the Equipment Floor after returning from a call. All they wanted to do was square away the trucks and the prep them for the next call so they could hit the showers and wash off the grime and soot and sweat.

What they weren't expecting was to see Deputy Chief Grissom in a rather heated discussion with two Intelligence Officers.

As the firefighters walked toward them, curiosity overriding their usual habits. Some of them knew Antonio from calls involving Intelligence and his presence didn't bode well for anyone… especially the anger they could feel rolling off of Grissom.

Caldwell didn't balk at all. He met Antonio half way. "What's up?"

"I need you and Kellan to come down to the Precinct for some questions."

Caldwell shrugged. "What does the Deputy Chief say?"

Antonio's eyes narrowed at his face. "I said, you need to come down for questions. Doesn't matter what he says."

"I disagree," Grissom broke in. "They need to stay until the end of shift. We need a full roster if there's another call. You can't take two of my men-"

Antonio gestured to the driveway and two men came into view. "I got two floaters to come in and finish the shift for you. This isn't going to wait."

Caldwell flushed with anger. "I'm not going! I've done nothing wrong!"

The female detective walked right up to Caldwell and smiled. "What you've done is very wrong, and we're going to put you away." She held up a pair of handcuffs. "I heard you like it rough, Caldwell. I can make it rough. How do you want me to do it, Lieutenant?"

He turned and saw Kellan staring at him, waiting for his reaction. "This is about that bitch, right?"

Antonio was up in his face a moment later. "You don't get to call her that, Caldwell." He grabbed the man's arm and twisted it behind his back, catching Burgess' handcuffs and wrapping it around one of the man's wrists. "You're going to pay for what you did. You're going pay dearly."

Burgess turned to Kellan. "So, do you like it rough, too?"

Kellan shook his head back and forth, more than a little fear in his eyes. "I'll go. I don't want to be cuffed."

The beautiful brunette with the hard smile began to pout. "Sad. Oh well," she gestured to their car, "then get in."

#

Hours later, Antonio and Burgess met in Voight's office, Trudy Platt standing just inside the door.

Voight sat on the edge of his desk and looked back and forth between them. "Well?"

The two detectives looked at each other before they looked at him. The pinched tension around Burgess' eyes and Antonio's hard mask of an expression told Voight enough without their words.

"Did you get anything productive?"

Burgess spoke first. "They both claim she 'wanted' it."

Voight shook his head in disgust. "Anything useful in their statements?"

"They're got their stories pretty straight. I just don't know how they expect anyone to believe it with the bruises they put on her."

"I hate to say but it's he said, she said."

Antonio couldn't believe it. "They'd see the photos, the hospital report."

"The defense is going to bring up Stella's past-"

"What?" Burgess looked at Antonio. "What's he talking about?"

Antonio looked back at him. "There was some stuff back when she was in her teens, but that was a long time ago. For years now she's been an excellent firefighter, rescued countless people. And in the eyes of a jury…"

"So we're going to blame the victim?" Trudy was seething. "They can put me on the stand. I saw her. I held her as she cried. No one would say she wanted that… No one would say she asked for it."

Voight sighed. "We're going to need more. Did they give up the names of the other two?"

The two detectives shared a look and then Antonio shook his head. "Not yet."

"Try to get the names, but we're going to have an uphill battle on this one."

Burgess narrowed her gaze. "I'm not giving up on this."

Voight gave her a tight smile. "I didn't think you were."

#

Second shift gathered in the community room and the atmosphere was tense to say the least. They'd all had the whole shift to imagine what the news was going to be and none of it was good.

The last ones to arrive were Chief Boden and Kelly. While the Chief stopped just inside the door and closed it securely behind them, Kelly moved to the front of the room and leaned up against the wall.

He carefully avoided everyone's eyes as he folded his arms across his chest and let out a pent-up breath.

"I wanted you all to hear this in person. Or rather, _we_ wanted you to hear it from me.

"You all know that Stella's been at House 36 for the last two months. She'd been having some issues with some of the others at the house. The men," his jaw was a hard line, "in particular, haven't been really happy to have her on Truck."

Herrmann stepped forward. "I thought Grissom billed the move as a straight line to promotion for Kidd."

The color in Kelly's face rose to a ruddy red. "Yeah, well, Stella's not going back to thirty-six ever."

Cruz shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Is Stella okay?"

He managed a breath before he answered. "She's in a private room at Med. She left the house before the end of her shift and a passing car picked her up… took her to Trudy at Intelligence. Stella was… Stella was…"

He slid down the wall until he hit the floor, robbed of breath, black crowding the edge of his vision.

Gabby was beside him a moment later. "What happened?"

Kelly turned his gaze to meet hers and still the words wouldn't come, but Gabby saw the soul-deep pain in his eyes.

"No…"

Tears pooled in his eyes.

"Oh my God!"

She collapsed next to Kelly, her limbs heavy and her heart filled with pain.

Through the buzz and anguish in Kelly's head he heard Mouch finish the explanation.

"And just how did you- is that what Trudy's emergency call was about?" Herrmann's voice was tight and heightened due to the tension they were all feeling.

"Trudy got Stella to the ER. Brought her in as a Jane Doe-"

"You should have told us." Otis was frighteningly pale. "We could have been there for her!"

"No." Kelly's voice reached everyone in the room. "You couldn't… she knew you'd all go. She couldn't handle it. She needed…"

"She needed to deal with it first." Mouch again. "And Trudy and I took care of her, Maggie, April and Ethan, until… she was ready to talk to Kelly."

Kelly looked at Gabby. "We brought Antonio in to speak to her. He's running the investigation."

"And when can we see her?" Matt was knelt down beside Gabby, but his eyes were focused on Kelly. "Or is that too much for her?"

"Right now we're waiting for word from Antonio. He took Burgess to get the two that Stella was able to see."

"Two?" Herrmann shoved a table. "Two men?"

Kelly's eyes snapped closed. "That she remembers."

The room was abuzz with fury and pain.

"Lieutenant… Kelly."

Kelly turned to his left and saw Capp and Tony at his side. Capp spoke first. "You tell us what you want. We'll do it."

Tony nodded. "Stella's one of us… she's more than just a friend, she's family."

Kelly's phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket, almost dropping it in his haste. "Hey, how are-" He scrambled up to his feet. "What happened? April? Talk to me." Matt moved over to Kelly's opposite side and together with Gabby, they kept him on his feet. "What? You tell her I'm coming… she'll hear that, April. You tell her I'm coming!" He ended the call and looked at Matt. "I need you to drive me to Med. Fast."


	10. Chapter 10

Just a few more chapters until the end... and yes you will get a Happy Ever After, I promise...

I'm so glad you're all taking this journey with me...

again, if you're not a member, PLEASE PLEASE PLASE write your name in the review

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Chapter 10

April met them in the hallway. "Kelly,-"

"How is she?"

"We have her on a broad spectrum of antibiotics, but we're not sure what caused this."

Gabby walked with Kelly to the door of the hospital room. Stella was quiet and still in bed but her skin was covered in perspiration. Her skin color was too pale, her expression drawn.

Kelly felt Gabby's hand on his back, but he couldn't just stand there. He turned around and looked at April. "What happened?"

"After you left, Stella told her nurse she was nauseous, and she had pain."

"Pain? Where?"

April gave him a look straight in his eyes. "Her back and lower abdomen. Based on her symptoms the doctor administered medication, believing that the most likely cause were the contraceptive pills they gave her." She must have seen the tick in his jaw and rushed on. "The morning after pill that they gave her doesn't have many side effects, but they fit with known complications.

"Later her heart rate spiked, over 100 beats a minute and wouldn't lower, but her breathing dipped a few minutes later. The doctor put her on a respirator to keep her oxygen levels up."

"Is she sleeping?" He turned back to look at Stella. "She's not moving."

April's expression tightened around the corners of her mouth. "She's sedated."

"Sedated?" Gabby winced at the sound of her own voice. "Why take that measure?"

April reached out a hand and set it on Kelly's shoulder. "She was upset."

"Upset?" He shook his head. "What does that mean?"

"The pain was getting worse and she wasn't able to lie still in bed. She was on the verge of hurting herself." April met Gabby's eyes. "After she was sedated we had more symptoms present themselves and after another round of tests. The doctors are worried that she's on the verge of becoming septic."

Gabby nodded. "Agitation. Sepsis can have an affect on her mental state."

Kelly leaned back against the doorframe, his eyes squeezed shut. "I should have been here."

Gabby spoke first. "They would have kicked you out of the room when the symptoms got worse. You would have been in the way."

"But I would have been here, so she knew that… can't she catch a break?" He looked at April. "So this was from the pill?"

"They don't know."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"The only one we have at this moment, Kelly." April's hand was squeezing on his shoulder. "We're fighting this with everything we have. Until we get some of her blood tests back, we just have to hope it doesn't get any worse. Her symptoms just don't fit one particular diagnosis."

He let out a breath. "I'm not medically trained like either of you, but besides the pill, what else could be the cause?"

The two shared a look and it was Gabby who spoke first. "If it's sepsis, it could be anything that would have given her an infection."

April continued on. "Her other symptoms seem to point to an allergic reaction. We looked through Stella's medical records. None of the medication that we've given her was on her allergy list. We'll figure this out, Kelly. Everyone wants Stella to come back to us."

#

A few hours later, Chief Boden showed up, knocking quietly on the door frame.

Kelly rushed to stand even though the Chief waved him off.

"Stay seated."

Bringing over a second chair, Kelly gestured for the Chief to take his seat. "Thanks for coming."

The Chief gestured toward the door. "I passed Mouch and Trudy in the hall and I saw Cruz and Brett in the parking lot."

Kelly nodded. "Everyone's been coming by in turns. It's good that she can hear their voices. I've run out of things to say."

The Chief shook his head. "You don't need to say anything," he tried to reassure the younger man. "She knows you're here. And I'm sure she feels your touch." He turned his eyes to the bed and Kelly gave Stella's hand a little squeeze. "I'm not surprised that you two are together again."

"Again?" Kelly felt a flush crawl up his neck. "What do you-"

"If you two thought you were hiding anything, you should know better than that." The Chief shook his head. "Stella went through a lot with Grant and you went through a lot with Anna. I know I wasn't alone in hoping that you two would find your way together again."

"I wish I hadn't let Grissom talk us into going along with the transfer, this never would have happened."

The Chief leaned forward bracing his forearms on his knees. "It should have been a good thing, Severide. I know that you and Stella had high hopes for the outcome. The next chance I get, you'll be up for Captain and at 51 Herrmann was next up for Lieutenant. This was her best chance for advancement without waiting in line at 51."

"But how could things have gotten so bad? Stella didn't say anything to me."

"I'm sure she didn't want to bother you."

"No," Kelly sighed, "she didn't want me to be brought up on charges for kicking ass."

Chief nodded. "And likely the entire Second Shift from 51, myself included. No one should have to face the rotten attitudes and behaviors that led up to this, but how it got to the point where at least two men attacked her inside the house on her shift. Grissom is going to answer for this." The Chief gave Kelly a worried look. "You okay with that?"

Kelly nodded. "This is Stella. If it turned out my Dad had information about this I would do everything I had to, to get answers. But my first concern is getting Stella home. Until that's done, I'm leaving this up to Antonio."

The Chief nodded. "He's not going to let this slide."

"That's what I'm counting on, Chief."

Getting up from his chair the Chief walked closer to the hospital bed.

He closed his hand over Kelly and Stella's interlocked hand and leaned over the bed to brush a kiss on Stella's forehead.

Kelly tried to ignore the Chief's worried look that passed over his features as he stepped away from bed.

#

Caldwell and Kellan waited on the front steps of Grissom's home for the Deputy Chief to open the door. When it happened, they saw the cold fury in Grissom's eyes. "What are you doing?"

Kellan pointed at his friend. "He said you wanted to talk to us."

"At my house? Are you both idiots?"

"Look," Caldwell had the nerve to look put-out, "we might as well talk now, I have a feeling this isn't just going to blow over. That cop was back again asking us all kinds of questions."

"Some were the same questions," Kellan looked physically ill. "I don't think I got turned around but I don't know. He kept pushing and pushing."

Grissom glared at him. "You're too soft for this kind of life, Kellan. You don't have what it takes to do the job. Don't waste my time." He pointed out at the car in his driveway. "Get in, leave. Don't come back. Meet me in my office tomorrow. Ten a.m. if that's not too much for you idiots to remember.


	11. Chapter 11

Yes, I'm not a medical professional and yes I'm taking some liberties with perfect reality, but I believe it's the emotional content I'm going for.. if someone wants to be my medical researcher PLEASE message me, I could use one :D… also if you leave a review but as a guest, I have NO WAY to respond… sorry

11

Antonio knocked on the doorframe and waited for Kelly to look up. "Hey, is this a good time?"

Kelly lifted a hand and rubbed at his temples. "What do you need, Antonio?"

Clearing his throat, Antonio looked over at Stella and shook his head. "What's wrong?"

Gabby got up from her chair and stretched her legs. "She's been unconscious for a few hours. They found an infection in her blood. I sent word to Intelligence."

Antonio nodded. "We got it and the techs went over to 36 and swabbed the Turnout Room and other surfaces," he tried to keep his tone as 'matter-of-fact' as possible. "We're hoping you some answers on that, but I didn't realize that she was… unable to answer questions."

"What kind of questions?" Kelly was up as well, moving across the room toward the door.

Antonio shared a look with his sister and saw Gabby's tentative nod. "We questioned the two and a few other men, hoping to get some information, some new information to help with the case, but we didn't get much to help us. They did have one point in their narrative, they're trying to say that Stella initiated sex with them. That she was the one who intended to-"

"How?"

Antonio blew out a nervous breath. "Kelly, maybe we should just wait-" he looked down at the hand Kelly had wrapped around his wrist. White knuckles told Antonio that waiting wasn't going to happen.

"Was this just something they said she said? Or did? How are they going to prove this?"

Shaking his head, Antonio didn't even have to look down at his notes, he remembered what the men had said to him. "They said she brought the condoms to the stationhouse. That she was the one that offered to-"

"Wait, what?" Kelly's hand closed even tighter around Antonio's wrist. The Dawsons locked their gazes over Kelly's shoulder in concern. "What about the condoms?"

Gabby answered. "They said she brought them to the firehouse."

"What brand?"

Even Matt turned to look at his friend. "Severide, you don't think that Stella-"

"I know she wouldn't, but if I'm right, I know why she's sick."

Antonio looked back at Kelly and then at his notes. "I didn't get a brand, but I can go back to the firehouse and ask."

"No," Kelly shook his head. "I'll go. I want to ask them face to face."

"That's not a good idea-"

"Go with him, 'Tonio." Gabby's suggestion was more of an order. "I'll stay with Stella."

Matt pushed away from the wall. "I'll go with you two." He brushed a kiss on Gabby's forehead. "Sit with Stella. Tell her we're waiting for her to heal, okay?"

She nodded. "Just watch Kelly's back."

"We got it." Antonio walked up in front of Kelly. "I'll drive."

#

Kelly called ahead and got Grissom on the phone. And in turn, Grissom brought Caldwell and Kellan back to the firehouse. When they arrived, nearly everyone on third shift was standing on the Equipment floor putting up a barrier between Kelly and the three men from their house.

It was Grissom that broke the tension. "Come on, men… step aside. Kelly's an old friend."

No one missed it when Caldwell rolled his eyes. "A good enough friend that you dragged me in here?"

Kellan gave his friend a side-glance. "They called both of us in, Caldwell."

"Kelly, why don't we take this up to my office."

"No." Kelly shook his head. "I need an answer and then I'm out of here."

Caldwell's look was cold. "You want to know which one of us she liked better?"

Matt's worried look fell on Kelly, but his friend didn't move.

"I want to know what kind of condoms you used."

The statement reverberated through the assembled group like a seismic wave.

Grissom was the first one to speak. "This isn't the kind of conversation we should have in public-"

"I just need the answer. And if they don't come clean, you're going to make them."

Caldwell looked at Grissom. "This is the guy you wanted to bring here? The guy you were going to give my job to? No wonder you told me to-"

Grissom hissed at him. "Shut up, Caldwell."

"But he," gesturing at Kelly, Caldwell grinned like an asshole, "your pet rock wants me to talk."

Kelly swore under his breath. "I want you to answer a single question and then we're gone."

"You want to know what kind of condom? Why… your brand not doing it for your girlfriend?"

Antonio had just about as much as he could take. "Answer the question, Caldwell, or I'm dragging you back in."

By the looks of it, Kellan was beginning to wise up, but Caldwell was interested in digging himself a big hole in the cement of the equipment floor. "Well, I don't know why you're asking us. Why don't you ask Kidd. She's the one that brought the condoms to the party."

Kelly looked straight at Caldwell. "That's what you're saying on the record in front of all of these people."

Caldwell shrugged. "It's what happened."

"So, go head," Antonio prompted him, "what brand did she bring?"

"What the hell do I know? I wasn't exactly looking at the name on the wrapper, I was waiting on my turn."

Matt put a hand on Kelly's shoulder.

Kelly didn't lift his eyes off of Caldwell. "Griss?"

Grissom poked Caldwell in the back. "Answer him. That's an order."

"The one with the soldier's helmet on it… red & gold… with lubricant. Not that we needed it once we had her-"

Caldwell stopped short as Kelly reached into his pocket and both men looked for cover. Kelly didn't pull out a gun, he pulled out his wallet. Pulling a wrapper out of it he handed it to Antonio. "Here's your proof that it wasn't consensual."

Antonio looked at the condom he was holding and watched as Kelly pointed out a line of text.

"Stella's allergic to latex."

Matt was confused. "She uses the gloves at the House and on the Ambo."

Kelly turned to look at Matt, a haunted look in his eyes. "It's fine on her hands, but she's known for years that she can't use latex. Not for a condom."

Pulling out his phone, Matt used #1 on his speed dial, stepping away. "Gabby, tell the doctor-"

Caldwell was slow to pick up the meaning. "So? Maybe she was in a rush and-"

Grissom gave him a shove. "Shut up, Caldwell." He started across the floor and the third shift stepped out of the way. More than a few of them giving Caldwell and Kellan dirty looks. "Kelly, what difference does this make?"

"Stella's really sick, Grissom. I hope that with the information we know now, we can fix this. I don't know what I'm going to do if-" He shook off the thought and turned his head to the men. "You better think long and hard about your statements. From here on out it's going to be who can save their ass the fastest. Me? I hope you both turn yourselves in before I find you."

He turned to Antonio. "Take me back."

"Yeah, sure… whatever you want, Severide."


	12. Chapter 12

12

By the time they got back to the hospital there was a marked change in Stella's color and her numbers on the monitors. And when Kelly leaned over and brushed a kiss on her forehead she was cooler than he remembered, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

Crouching down the slightest bit he whispered into her ear. "We got them, baby. They're going to pay for what they did to you." He reached out and took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers before he gave it a gentle squeeze. "So, here's what you're going to do. You're going to get well and then you're going to come home to me."

With a loud exhale, Kelly sat down in the chair beside her bed unable to relinquish her hand. He leaned his other arm on the side of her bed and laid down his head. He needed to process the last few hours in his head. There was something completely wrong and he just couldn't put his finger on it.

#

Stella woke up with her mouth dry and her head cloudy, but there was one good thing. Kelly. She could hear him breathing, deep in sleep beside her. Wiggling her fingers, she smiled. He was holding her hand.

It took every ounce of strength she had, but she managed to turn on her side in the bed and lift her free and settled it on his head. The soft prickle of the ends of his short-cropped hair tickled her palm and she felt tears gather on her lashes.

"Mmm?" He started to stir.

"Shh…" she knew her voice sounded like sandpaper, but she didn't want to wake him, "sleep, Kelly. I just want to touch you… make sure I'm not dreaming."

He rolled his head slightly to the side and she saw a smile stretch across his lips. "I like it when you touch me, Stel."

She drew in a long breath. "That's good," she groaned slightly as pain started to rise inside of her body, "because I'm gonna be doing a lot of touching as soon as I get out of his bed."

Kelly opened his eyes and she was stunned at the look in his beautiful blue eyes. She melted for him. "No rush, baby. You need to heal."

"I need you, Kelly." Tears spilled at the admission. "God, I feel so damn weak… in so many ways." She swallowed and felt her words like sandpaper in her throat. "How can you stand it."

"Stand what?" He sat up a little, and blinked at her, shedding sleep from his eyes.

"What they did to me? What I feel inside? The mess I'm going to be and the pain I'm going to dump on you even if it's the last thing I want to do. You didn't sign up for this-"

"Hey," he got up in a heartbeat and found a way to sit on the edge of the hospital bed, with their joined hands in his lap as he looked down at her, "what I signed up for was loving you, Stella.

"It doesn't get any better than that." He trailed his free fingertips over the backs of her fingers. "You're the same woman who had me breaking the law and making a fool of myself in front of your husband. You're the same woman who's saved people on their worst days of their lives because you just don't give up.

"Don't you dare give up on me… on us. Not over something like this."

She felt the impact of his words on her heart, heard the depth of emotion in his voice. It wrapped her in warmth, comforted her, but underneath her skin where she still felt their hands on her… felt the way they'd violated her over and over… she felt revulsion and nausea building.

"I don't know how long I'm going to be messed up," she shook her head and warded off his denial. "I was never someone shy about sex, Kelly. I loved the way it made me feel. Loved the way I could let myself fall over the edge and just let go." She lifted her head so he could see her eyes. "But even though I know that you're not them, I'm going to worry that I'm going to mess up what we have. I'm going to freeze up at the wrong times. I'm going to push you away.

"I know what I feel for you. I know how much I want to touch you and feel you under my hands, but God, Kelly… how am I going to let you touch me after this.

"Are they going to be in my head when I close my eyes? Are they going to be the ones in my head when I'm in your arms? It would kill me to see the pain in your eyes."

"You mean like the pain I see in your eyes, Stel?" His voice was barely a rasp of sound as he lifted their joined hands to his lips, kissing each of her fingertips. "Knowing that they hurt you… knowing that they took something from you… I want to tear them apart, piece by piece, but what I want more than that, is to take all that hurt away.

"Don't worry about me, Stel."

She opened her mouth to argue, but he seemed to know what she was about to say.

"I'm more than my old reputation, baby." He voice was soft, coaxing, and she knew he wasn't upset. "I love touching you, but if that's off the table until… forever… that doesn't change the fact that I love you. I love just being close to you. Talking to you. Being in love with you.

"If you told me today and every day from now on that you weren't ready to let me touch you… be inside of you… that wouldn't change a damn thing." She saw the way he winced after he swore and her heart swelled like a balloon in her chest.

"Just tell me you believe me, baby. Tell me you know that you're more to me than sex.

"Tell me that you still want me… because you love me too."

Loud gasping sobs filled the room as she cried, shaking from head to toe as lost the last semblance of control that had held her together. It took her awhile to come to her senses and when she did she realized that he was laying down on the bed with her, holding her gently in his arms as she soaked his shirt with her tears.

"Kelly?"

His hand gently stroked the back of her hair and she shivered with the waves of comfort that rolled over her as she pulled in breath after steadying breath. "Yeah, Stel?"

"I want to believe that I'm going to be okay. I want it to be real, because it means that I'll be whole again."

She opened her eyes and tilted her head back until she could meet his eyes. And the look she saw in his was a gift. He loved her. She saw the truth in his deep blue eyes and the solid lines of his face as he saw deep inside her and didn't look away.

"But there's one thing you need to know, Kelly." She swallowed and felt the knot in her throat start to move. "I love you down deep inside. Love you more than my next breath and that's never going to chance. If you're willing to love me the way I am, you need to know that I'm going to keep loving you… forever."


	13. Chapter 13

Once her doctors had figured out the right combination of meds to combat her blood infection and her allergy, Stella's health improved markedly. So much so, that two days later, she was waiting anxiously to be sprung from Med.

While they waited for Herrmann to arrive, April went with Stella to the bathroom in her hospital room and helped her dress.

The worst moment happened almost as soon as the door closed behind them. The neck of Stella's hospital gown gaped and slid from her shoulder. The bruises were healing, but there were still dark shadows plainly visible on her skin… or rather under it.

Moving closer to the mirror, Stella lifted her opposite hand and gently traced along the easily identifiable hand-shaped bruise on her shoulder. "I don't think Kelly's seen the bruises yet."

April swallowed quietly. "I think he did," with a soft sigh, April continued on, "while you were unconscious, the nurses came in to bathe you and Kelly might have seen some of the bruises before he could manage to leave the room."

Stella groaned.

Moving closer, April stopped short at the sudden warning flaring in Stella's eyes. "Stella, you know they don't matter to him. All he sees is you."

"It may not matter to him, April. But the last thing I want him to think about when we're alone is what those men-"

"Hey," April gave her a smile. "Don't borrow trouble when there isn't any…"

A knock sounded at the door, making Stella jump a little.

"Hey, Baby?"

Stella couldn't help the smile that touched at the corners of her mouth. "I just need a minute, okay?"

"Sure, yeah." Kelly's voice sounded nervous. "Just take your time."

When Stella looked up at April she saw the other woman's smile. "What?"

April shook her head. "Kelly's not going to know what to do with himself, Stella. Be careful that you don't let him get on your nerves, okay?"

Stella wanted to argue, but she didn't. "I'll try."

"The two of you are incredibly strong people. He's going to want to take care of you and you're going to want to be independent and push him away. Together-"

"Together," Stella echoed, "we'll either figure this out or we're going to drive each other insane. I get it." Stella managed to pull her sweater on and settle it before her energy ran out and gratefully accepted April's help in getting her leggings on. Even then, she was exhausted by the time they were done.

"I've got a wheelchair just outside," April gently took Stella's arm. "Let's get you going before Kelly decides to force the door."

Stella laughed. "I doubt they let him bring the Halligan into the Hospital, but he does have a hell of a mule-kick." Her soft sigh was accompanied by a big smile. "Let's go."

#

Back at their apartment building, Kelly and Herrmann managed to get the wheelchair out of the back of the minivan and leave it standing by the sliding back door. Cindy helped Stella, taking her arm and helped keep her still as she gently slid down from the seat. "You two want us to come up and help get you settled?"

Stella blushed and shook her head. "I'll be fine." She looked over at Kelly. "I'm sure we'll be okay. I don't want to keep you away from the kids."

Herrmann smiled and shook his head. "One of the other parents from the basketball team took the whole bunch to the movies."

Kelly set his hand on Stella's shoulder and smiled when she covered it with her own hand. "Then the two of you should take the time and spend it together."

Stella squeezed his hand "It was so nice of you to bring me home."

Herrmann waved it off. "No biggie. I didn't see how you'd get in and out of Kelly's Mustang." He looked at Cindy and she nodded in instant agreement. "If you need to borrow the car for appointments or something, just let us know."

Kelly shook his head. "No, I've got a line on something that will work for a while." He gave Stella's shoulder a squeeze when he felt her stiffen under his hand. "I'm going to get her upstairs and get started on dinner."

Cindy's smile was beaming. "Oh, that sounds romantic," she gave Stella a wink, "enjoy it and I'll see you later, okay?"

Before the Herrmann's pulled out onto the road, Kelly had her inside in the hallway.

#

Stella spent the rest of the evening worried. Dinner was fabulous. Kelly knew his way around steak and potatoes. She just felt horrible that she'd hardly touched her meal. Seeing the hurt that he was trying to hide she stumbled over an apology. "I think I'm just exhausted, Kelly. I'm sorry."

"Hey, no worries," he got up from his chair and covered her plate. "Let's get you to bed and if you're hungry later, I'll warm the plate and bring it to you."

Tears prickled at her lashes. "Kelly, you don't have to take care of me."

"I want to, Stella. I'm so glad you're back home, I want to make sure you're comfortable so you can get the rest you need."

She gave him a small smile. "You've got a shift tomorrow."

When he remained silent she gave him a wide-eyed look.

"What happened?"

Kelly moved back to her chair and easily lifted her into his arms before he walked into their bedroom. "Do you have any idea how much sick leave I've built up?"

"Kelly? That's your sick leave."

"And I'm using it for me," he gently set her back down on her feet in the bathroom. "I'm looking forward to spending some time just the two of us."

She sighed. "You're going to get tired of me."

He gently cupped her face in his hands and touched his lips to hers. "That's never going to happen." As his lips settled over hers his hands ghosted down her arms and reached for the hem of her shirt. As soon as she felt his fingers brush against her skin she froze and pulled away, almost stumbling over her own feet.

"NO," her voice was almost a bit too forceful and then she saw the look on Kelly's face, "Oh my God, I'm sorry." She folded her arms over her chest and shook from head to toe. "Kelly, I didn't mean… I didn't think-"

"Hey, hey…" He held up his hands at his sides, almost shoulder height. "Don't worry. I wasn't trying to… wasn't going to-" His eyes squeezed shut and a half breath gasped into his lungs. "Stella, I wasn't trying to touch you. Not like that. You said you wanted a shower."

The relief that rang in her short burst of laughter did little to ease the tension between them. She nodded. "Yeah and with my shoulders still healing…" she let her voice trail off, "I'm sorry I jumped when I should have-"

"This isn't about what you should or shouldn't do, Stella. It's going to take you some time to heal."

"You mean it's going to take me some time not to make an ass of myself around you." She shook her head and sagged in the chair, dropping her gaze to the table top. "Maybe this is too soon," she could hear the dull sound of her own voice, "maybe I should… find someplace else-"

"Someplace else?" Kelly shook his head. "What are talking about?"

She lifted her head and met his eyes. "I've been dreaming of coming back to you and falling asleep in your arms… putting everything behind me at the door. But I feel you near me and I see the hopeful look in your eyes and I just don't know if I can hold myself together enough to stay here."

"Stella, please…"

"No, it's nothing you've done, Kelly… or didn't do. I just don't know if I'm going to be able to forgive myself if I kill what's between us. So I think I should probably find someplace else to live." She set her palms on the table and started to stand. A few inches off the chair and she was in danger of falling to the floor-

A moment later she was held gently against him, his arms wrapped securely around her body.

"Stella," he pressed kisses against the side of her face, "if you want to sleep in the room by yourself, you've got it. If you don't want me to touch you, you got it. Whatever you need… you've got it. Just don't leave. Don't let this pull us apart, Stell, please. I thought I lost you twice… if I really lost you, I don't think I could take it."

That was when the tears started. Not just Stella but Kelly was well. He held her as she cried and when she stopped she slipped her arms around his middle and turned her head so she could hear his heart beating in his chest.

She only held him tighter as that familiar rhythm sounded in her ear, echoed in her head, Kelly was all that was good and steady in her life and she knew no matter how hard things were going to be, she couldn't leave him.

Not when the very thought about leaving him made her feel like she couldn't breathe. The only thing that kept her moving after the attack, kept her trying to find help, trying to survive had been the thought of staying alive to see Kelly again. How could she walk away from him now?


	14. Chapter 14

Fourteen

It took Stella all of thirty-six hours to go stir crazy at the apartment. Having Kelly at home for a day was great and she'd all but pushed him out to the door for his shift, but once she was alone things changed faster than she'd anticipated.

Noises.

Noises crawled along her skin.

A passing car rumbling in the street outside the window had her heart leaping up in her throat.

"Fuck."

Stella pushed up and off of the couch and walked away into the kitchen. Picking up a pot she set it on the stove and then walked to the refrigerator and opened it up.

"Hmm.."

Her thoughts solidified and she realized that he refrigerator was nearly empty, because Kelly'd spent much of the last week in the hospital with her.

"Okay then." She saw the containers of cereal on the counter but she didn't want it. Walking back into the bedroom she picked up her phone off of the dresser. Pulling up the app for a car service, she ordered up a ride.

She was actually grateful that Rescue was out when she arrived at 51. She didn't want to see Kelly's concerned face… not just then. She was feeling like a big ol' wuss for even turning up at the house. She didn't want them to think she couldn't handle being at home alone.

She didn't want them to… because she already felt that way about herself. Herrmann was the first one to see her and she smiled at the look of shock and happiness on his face.

"Hey, Kiddo… goodness! It's good to see you!"

She rustled up a smile. "Hey, Herrmann! Thought I'd come and see what's up today?"

"You missed me, admit it. Having Severide wait on you hand and foot just isn't as fun as me ribbing you endless over every little thing."

Stella nodded. "Exactly."

Herrmann stepped up for a hug and stopped short when Stella pulled back ever so slightly. Herrmann's face colored a little, his expression pinching ever so slightly.

Stella closed her eyes and shook. "Herrmann. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-"

"Hey, hey," she could hear the forced smile in his tone, "don't you say that… I should have eased up on you."

Shaking her head she winced as she blinked back a sudden prickle of tears. "No. You didn't know." Her lips flattened into a thin white line. "I didn't know."

He lowered his voice and leaned closer. "You okay?"

She nodded. A bit too hard. A bit too quick. "I'm fine."

His look said he didn't believe her for a moment, but before he could say anything else, the door swung open and Mouch and Otis came through. "Hey! Stella!"

Her smile eclipsed her wince. "Hey, guys!"

Otis looked out at the street. "Rescue's on a call, but last I heard from Cruz, they're finishing up. So Severide will be back soon."

She put her hands on her hips and winced as the echoes of her bruises. "I can't come and see my friends?"

She watched Otis expression tense and before she could say anything, Mouch gave Otis an elbow to the side. "Relax."

Otis' laughter burst from his lips but his eyes were still a little wary. "Sorry."

Stella shook her head and looked Herrmann. "No need for sorry. I just wanted to come and see you guys."

Mouch nodded with a knowing look on his face. "Going a bit stir crazy at the apartment?"

"Yeah, kind of."

Herrman gestured toward the door. "Let's go inside. We were just starting on lunch. Come on in, have a seat. Maybe Mouch will even let you pick the channel."

Stella caught Mouch's owl-eyed look.

"I what?"

She waved off his concern. "I just want to hand out with you guys… I'll even help prep if I can sit down somewhere."

The reminder that she wasn't quite back up to snuff reverberated through the group, ever-so-slightly dampened their spirits, but they recovered quickly, eager to make her feel comfortable in the house.

Truck crew fell into a comfortable round of joking as they prepared lunch and as the positive energy around Stella made her smile, it also pulled down her defenses.

She was home here.

"Hey, Stella, good to see you-"

Her mind heard Matt's voice. She knew who was walking up behind her, but the minute she felt his hand on her back, Stella shot off of the stool she had been sitting on.

Her foot tangled with a leg of the stool and both she and it went down on the hard-laminated floor.

All it was one look at Matt's horrified expression and Stella's heart seized in her chest.

"Oh My God," she grabbed at her chest, back-peddling on the floor, "I'm sorry."

Matt recovered quickly and stepped forward, reaching his hand out to help her up off the floor.

It was Herrmann that saw it first, but he couldn't quite get a hand on Matt to stop him.

Stella's conscious mind shut down just as her heart hit the gas pedal. "No, no…"

The door to the Apparatus floor squeaked open and Rescue walked in, tired and dirty. Capp walked into Tony's back as they stopped short just inside the door.

Cruz saw the look of blind panic on Stella's face as the stunned shock on the faces of the truck crew. "Lieutenant? Get in here!"

#

Kelly swore under his breath and dropped his phone into his pocket, running into the common room to see what the commotion was about. He didn't ask a question. He didn't have to.

One look and he knew. It had happened to with him twice since he'd brought her home.

"Everyone relax." Kelly tried to keep his voice even… calm. "Hey, babe." His attention was on Stella. Completely on her. "Go ahead, take a breath."

He watched as she sucked in a breath no longer than a quick gasp. That was something. As he moved in front of the other guys from Rescue, he put a hand on Cruz's shoulder and gave him a slight squeeze and a push toward the far end of the room.

Kelly didn't have to wait for an answer from Cruz, he knew his friend would understand.

"Why don't we go sit in my office for a bit, okay?"

Stella didn't answer. She didn't even look at him. Her eyes were locked on Matt. Kelly knew their good friend was frozen in fear. If this was a call out, Matt would likely have picked up the signs in a moment.

"Stella. Baby. Tell me something you can touch."

The guys from rescue, as big as they were, moved like ghosts across the room.

Swallowing first, Stella stretched her fingers out on the linoleum floor. "Tiles."

Kelly felt a little of his apprehension relax from his shoulders. "Good. Something you can hear."

She took in a breath, something deeper than before. "Ice."

Kelly saw Matt turn his head toward the refrigerator. No one else had noticed the ice falling into the container inside the freezer. Stella had great hearing. "Great. Something you can smell."

Another breath, deeper. The answer faster. Her nose wrinkled. "Onions."

Mouch took Herrmann's arm and the two of them backed away, following Cruz into the hallway.

Kelly began the next step. "Good, babe. Something you can-"

"I can test metal, in my mouth." She winced. "I bit my tongue." Before Kelly could say anything she looked up and blinked a few times. "And I can see Matt. I'm sorry I freaked out on you."

Matt shook his head. "I wasn't thinking. I saw you and I wanted to say hi. I didn't think… I shouldn't have put my hand on you."

Kelly nodded. His guess confirmed. There was no need to tell Matt where he'd gone wrong. His friend… THEIR friend… guessed it.

"I have to get used to it," she closed her eyes and bit down on her lip, "I miss the hugs. I miss… simple touches."

"Stella," Kelly moved closer.

"I'm going to get it back," she turned to look at him. "I'm going to get through this. I'm just going to have to get better at surprises."

Kelly held out his hand to her and said a silent thank you when she took it without thinking. "it's going to be an adjustment for all of us, Stella."

"But we're here for you." That from Matt, whose skin color was getting better by the moment. "And I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be," Stella managed to smile at Matt, "I didn't call ahead, I just came down. I wanted to see everyone. So this is on me."

"Hey," Matt shook his head, "if I can't apologize again, you can't take the blame. We're just glad you wanted to see us. Dawson and Brett should be back in a bit. I was coming down to let the guys know they were on their way back from Med."

Kelly saw Stella brighten.

"I'd like to see them." Stella stepped closer to him, touching her hip and her shoulder to his. Having her that close filled him with happiness. She was trying to connect and he'd take every little success. "Do you think I can go sit down in your office and let the guys get their lunch? I don't think I can handle the whole group right now."

Matt gave her a smile. "Everyone is in the opposite hall. Go ahead and go up. I'll send Ambo up when they return."

Kelly gestured toward the doorway and Stella took a step in that direction, but before she made it more than a couple of steps, she reached out with her fingertips and touched his hand with a gentle exploration.

He had to fight back tears as his returned the gesture and held his hand as still as he could, and still walk beside her. By the time they got to the elevator, Stella had woven their fingers together and was holding his hand.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

When Stella's follow-up appointment the next day made it clear that the damage from the virus and her allergic reaction was going to keep her out of her Turnout gear for at least a week or two, it was Chief Boden who came to the rescue.

As he'd explained it to Kidd and Severide when they'd gone to dinner at the Boden house, Fifty One wasn't the same without Stella there. So, Stella was going to work with Connie in the bullpen during business hours and then as long as they kept it quiet, she could stay overnight while Severide was working 2nd shift.

Everyone was more than happy to make it work, even her temporary replacement, a young Candidate by the name of Katy.

The morning they left for the House, before Stella's third 'official' day in the office, her cell phone rang as they walked out to the car.

A quick look at the screen spoke volumes. She swiped the screen to take the call as she got into the car. "Hey, Antonio, I was thinking about giving you a call… realy?"

She sank heavily back against the seat in the Mustang and nodded as Antonio continued to speak. Dropping his bag on the backseat, Kelly made his way around to the passenger side and buckled Stella into her seatbelt before gently trailing a knuckle over the back of Stella's hand. The single point of contact didn't have much of an effect on her anxiety levels, so it was as safe as he could get with her attention distracted.

By the time he'd made his way around and slipped into the driver's seat, he could tell that the conversation wasn't a happy one.

He started to drive toward the house, half-listening to her tone, not the words. He wasn't eavesdropping on her, but he worried about her mood and anxiety level.

When she hung up, he didn't even have to ask.

"'Tonio said that they've hit a wall in the investigation. They know there were more than just the two, but no one is naming names."

Kelly's hands gripped the wheel until his knuckles were stark white against the darkened surface. "I'll talk to Grissom."

"NO," Kelly felt her touch on his leg and he looked down for a moment to see the warm tone of her skin against his dark blue pants, "don't. We agreed that having you talk to him would only make things more difficult."

Loosening his grip on the wheel, Kelly settled his hand over hers. "I just want to make sure that the people responsible-"

"And they will," she insisted. He watched her settle back into her seat, but she left her hand under his on his leg. A soft sigh escaped her lips. "I just don't want this to touch us anymore than it already has. I want to focus on you, Kelly. I want to focus on us."

He couldn't argue with that. "Antonio's going to keep us in the loop?"

He felt her hand flutter under his until their fingers laced together.

"You know he will."

And Kelly did. Antonio was a good cop. One of the best in the city… hell, in their part of the country. He was going to get to the bottom of this and not just because they were friends of his sister. Antonio sought justice like breathing.

"Besides," she sighed, "I'd much rather talk about that trip to Milwaukee that we still haven't taken."

He grinned at her even though he couldn't really take his eyes off of the road for too long. "Yes, ma'am."

"Ma'am!" He heard the playful anger in her tone. "I'm not old enough for ma'am."

Kelly licked his lips, knowing he'd have to give her a kiss before he let her out of the car.

"But, I'm hoping that after my next follow up, I'll be off the pain meds and we can go do a little tasting at the breweries."

He winced a little. "it might be a bit of a jump to go from pain meds to beer tasting. You might have to be the designated driver."

She groaned. "What kind of fun would that be?"

House Fifty-One loomed up ahead of them and Stella turned to smile at him.

"At least, I'll have you pretty much all to myself."

Kelly smiled back at her. "That's what I'm looking forward to." He pulled into an empty place beside the fence and put the car in park. The seatbelt was open a moment later, and before she could manage to take hold of the door-handle, he'd opened it for her and helped her out.

#

When the door was closed, Stella reached out and took hold of the front of his jacket and pulled him closer. Not close enough to bring them flush against each other, but close enough that she could smell his aftershave and the scent of his soap.

She drew in several breaths and let out a slow satisfied sigh. "I love the way you smell."

Stella felt the groan through the side of her hand that was against his chest.

"And I, love everything about you, Stella Kidd."

He began to move and she saw him come just the littlest bit closer, watching her for any indication that she was afraid or nervous, his care made her heart fill with love.

"You deserve so much more than a woman you have to treat like glass."

"I don't deserve you," he shook his head, "but I'm glad you let me love you."

Tears prickled the backs of her eyes. "It's not easy, loving me."

"I'm no walk in the park either," he reminded her.

She nodded and them smiled again. "Walking in the park is over-rated," she explained. "Me? I'd be happy to be able to sleep with your arms around me again. Or maybe just have you kiss me without telling me ahead of time so I don't have a meltdown. If you're willing to work with me through this…"

"You know I will."

She nodded. "Then you should know I'd do the same for you."

Kelly grinned. "Anytime you need someone to support you, Stella…"

Her laughter was mixed with tears. "You'll be my girl?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but she didn't wait for him to speak.

She lifted her free hand and gently cupped his cheek with her palm. And when she rose up on the balls of her feet she gently brushed a kiss across his lips.

When she finally drew back she saw the worry draining from his face and it felt so good.

"I'm not there yet," she told him, "but I'm going to get there, because I know what your kisses taste like, Kelly. And I know what it's like to have you touch me… all over… inside and out. It's heaven and I'm not going to let anyone take that away from me."

His sigh made her shiver in all the good ways.

"I'm not letting them take you away from me either, Stella, I-"

And she kissed him again, this time she felt him tremble against her.

"We're going to be okay," she wasn't sure if she was telling him, or asking him, either way, it felt right. Looking over his shoulder she saw the Rescue crew 'patiently' waiting for their Lieutenant. "You should go before Capp decides to start serenading us."

He shuddered in fear. "Yeah, let's not give him the excuse." Kelly offered her his arm and she took it, walking beside him until she stepped onto the Apparatus floor and then she continued on her way upstairs to the Bullpen."

Stella set her bag down into the big drawer at the bottom of her desk. It was an odd thing, she mused as it had at one point been Hope's desk. Occupying it, even for a short time, was almost funny enough to laugh about.

Almost.

She took hold of the back of the chair and was just about to sit herself down when a shadow fell over the top of her desk.

Looking up, Stella saw the overly-smiley countenance of Chief Huffines from the Public Relations Department of the CFD. Putting on what she hoped was a similar smile she greeted him with all due respect. "May I help you with something, Chief?" She leaned to the side and saw Boden's door open. "If you're here to see Chief Boden, I can go look for him."

The Chief shook his head. "Nope. Actually," he stepped closer and set a hand on her shoulder, "I'm here to see you."

The simple touch sent panic rushing through her body, but she couldn't manage to get a word out edgewise. It took everything she had to keep breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

Looking about the room, he peered through the windows and saw that the blue room was empty. "Let's go in there. You and I have something to discuss, young lady."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Stella struggled to keep her breathing even as Chief Huffines closed the door behind them. She moved slowly about the room assessing the distance between every chair and the door, hoping that he'd choose to sit somewhere away from the door. That would make things a lot easier for her.

Luck wasn't with her. The Chief didn't even sit, he leaned his back against the door and folded his arms over his chest as he turned a big smile in her direction.

"First, I want to say how nice it is to see you up on your feet."

Stella didn't move or say a word. As far as she knew, Chief Huffines hadn't seen her since she'd done her short stint at the Public Relations office.

In fact, the entire time that she'd been at Med, she hadn't seen anyone from CFD brass. The highest ranking officer she'd spoken to was Chief Boden.

"Have you given a thought as to when you'd like to be back on duty?"

The words were like a rush of cold water in her face.

"No, sir."

His face darkened a bit with concern. "Don't tell me you're going to quit."

"No." That was easy enough to say. "I'm not going to quit," she drew up short. The next words that would have come out of her mouth would have been to the effect that she wasn't at all ready to be back even with her friends around.

She had a long way to go being comfortable enough for Kelly to touch her, let alone her friends. If she went back into service and entered a house or a building on fire, there was no guarantee that she'd be able to do her duty.

She was suffering. She could handle that.

But if she did something… or didn't do something… and someone was hurt or died, she'd never… ever forgive herself.

"Well, I know I can speak for the CFD when I say that we admire your courage and your strength."

His words fell on her like a physical wave, rocking her back on her heels.

"Thank you, sir." The words were just a rote response. She didn't mean any of it.

"What I'd also like to say is that we understand that two men have taken responsibility for your injuries."

 _Your injuries_

"And while it seems as though your statement indicates that there were more than the two, we were hoping that acknowledging their statement would… how can I say this… put this whole issue to bed."

 _To bed_

She felt a shiver roll through her body.

Felt a pain twist and turn deep in her gut.

A breath pulled into her lungs but didn't manage to do more than emphasize the ache in her lungs.

"Detective Dawson continues to push for more time to question the men, but at this point. We feel that the information we already have is enough to assign responsibility.

"We want to begin the healing process and to do that we want to make sure that you understand how much we regret any pain or upset that you've suffered. If you can help us by accepting the current statements as a full accounting of the issue, CFD would see fit to give you a transfer to any house or other assignment that you'd like. If you can see your way to accepting these terms today, we'd also be in a position to offer you a promotion to Lieutenant as you will have proven your dedication to the job.

"Think about the added income and a new position of authority. Your service has been exemplary and we just want to make sure you understand how much we appreciate-"

"How much you'd appreciate me accepting some kind of justice even if it's just a lie?"

He coughed, but the sound was more like a rough scrape of laughter. "It's not a lie. The men have admitted their responsibility-"

"The medical exam alone rules out the possibility of the attack being 'just the two' you're talking about."

Chief untangled his arms and held up his hands in surrender. "Let's keep away from words like 'attack.' It makes everything seem so…"

"Seem so what, Chief Huffhines? Seem so much like rape?" She dragged in a breath and then another. "Maybe because that's exactly what it was. There were at least four different samples in my kit."

"Four." He swallowed. "Yes, well... four makes it seem so much more of a sordid story. From what I've been told, you are involved intimately with at least one firefighter and-"

"At least one?" Her vision swam. Her skin went cold, clammy in the airconditioned enclosure. "I have to…" She moved toward the door, desperate to get away from him, but the Chief didn't budge.

"If I've offended you-"

"Move." She barked out the word. "Now."

Chief Huffines stood his ground. "I need your decision, Kidd. It's not that difficult."

She took another step and laid the palm of her hand against he glass of the window. "I need some air."

"A simple yes, Kidd. That's what I need from you."

She saw him standing between her and the door and the fear in her head turned to feral anger. "Move away."

"I was told you'd be difficult." He straightened and shook his head. "I was hoping you'd prove him wrong."

"Please," she hated the pitch of her voice, tight and high, "just let me out."

" _Quid pro quo_ , _Lieutenant_ Kidd."

The room was entirely too hot around her. The ground under her feet buckled and twisted and whatever she had in her belly made a quick ascent up into her throat.

Stella was unsteady on her feet, leaning heavily toward the wall as she tried one last time.

"Air. I need air."

She almost felt him roll his eyes. She certainly heard the heavy tsk of sound from his lips that said more than any real word that would have come out of his mouth.

And then the moment came when she lost physical control of her body and instinct took over.

With a fist full of the Chief's pristine uniform, her knees buckled, sending her down to crash onto her knees on the hard laminated flooring. The final straw was the burning rush of bile and food as it poured from her mouth and all over his highly-polished shoes.

#

Stella came around with Brett and Dawson moving over her, taking her vitals. Brett's normally beatific smile was strained and her color was even more pale than normal under the fluorescent lights.

She had a vague impression of someone yelling just outside the room and when she turned to look, Dawson grimaced. "That's Connie out there," she explained, "she heard Chief Huffines shouting and she came in to see what was wrong. She found you on the floor, pale and unresponsive."

Brett brushed her glove covered fingers over Stella's temple. "We started an IV, so you need to stay still. Someone's bringing up the-"

The metallic rattle of the stretcher pushed across the floor and Otis came through the doorway walking backwards. Herrmann had the other end firmly in his grasp.

He gave Stella a grimace. "Better close your ears if you can 'cause Chief Boden just found out what happened."

The level of noise outside the office rose like high rev of a motorcycle ready to burn some rubber off the tires. "You want to explain why you decided to talk to one of my firefighters without me present?"

The simple declaration in Boden's voice, _my firefighters_.

This was where she belonged… with family.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

When Kelly radioed in that Rescue 3 was done with their call, the last thing he expected to hear from Chief Boden was, "Kelly, bring Rescue over to Med, Stella's here."

Cruz turned on the siren and eased out of traffic into the empty oncoming lanes.

"Stella?" Capp's voice called out from the back of Rescue's truck cab. "What, we've been out for an hour? What the hell could have happened-"

"Chief?" Kelly couldn't help the way his voice shook. He could barely keep oxygen in his lungs.

"She's alive." That was the first concern taken care of. "She's sedated and Dr. Charles will be waiting for you."

Cruz turned a quick look at Kelly before staring at the road again. "We're minutes away, Lieutenant. Then we'll get you some answers, okay?"

Kelly nodded, the movement barely visible with the bump of the truck over the road's uneven surface.

Stella. Med. Dr. Charles.

What the fuck?

Capp was right. They'd been gone barely an hour and Stella was sedated at Med?

"Fuck!" Kelly's fist slammed into the side panel of the door.

"She's strong, Lieutenant."

He felt Tony's hand on his shoulder.

"She's strong, but when is she going to get a break?"

"When we get there, Lieutenant." Capp leaned closer. "Whatever you need us to do. We'll do. You just tell us what she needs."

The next few minutes were filled with the whining drone of the siren and the jumble of angry questions inside of Kelly's head. He was on the verge of ripping someone's head off and he was coming to the point where it wasn't really going to matter whose head. He needed to make things right. He needed answers.

He needed Stella.

And that was where his focus was going to be.

Because if he didn't help her through this, nothing else was going to matter for him. Not anymore.

He was crazy, bone-deep, head-over-heels in love with Stella Kidd.

#

Cruz pulled up to the curb at Med and waited for a hot second while the other three jumped out before pulling away to move the Rescue vehicle out of the way.

Kelly was moving so fast, he had to shove the automatic door away from him as he moved into the air-conditioned halls of Med. Before he'd gone more than a few steps, Boden had a hand planted in the center of his chest. "Take a breath."

"Is she awake?"

Boden gave him a short nod. "She's with Dr. Charles in the courtyard."

Kelly felt some of his tension bleed from his pores. "What happened?"

Shaking his head, Boden's expression darkened. "Huffines was at the House when Stella went to my office to see me. Connie found them in the blue office, Stella was unconscious on the floor. When I got there, Dawson and Brett had Stella ready for transport to Med. She was awake, lucid."

"What aren't you telling me?"

Boden looked away for a moment and when he met Kelly's eyes, the leader of House 51s Rescue Unit saw something he'd never seen in his Chief's eyes before. And the word that he'd use to describe it came out of Boden's mouth as well. "Despair."

Kelly felt his stomach twist and his heart hid the hard wall of his ribs.

"She had every right." Dawson walked up beside them, her face a set mask of anger. "Did you tell him what Huffines offered her?"

Kelly looked back to Boden, the question plain on his face.

Boden set a hand on Kelly's shoulder, a hand that spoke loud and clear. He was going to stand there and listen.

"Huffines wanted her to agree to let it stand. The two that already confessed would be the men of record on the criminal complaint."

Dawson narrowed her eyes at both of them. "He wanted her to sign off that they were the only responsible for her ' _injuries_.'"

Tightening his hand on Kelly's shoulder, Boden continued. "He offered Stella her choice of House assignments and a promotion to Lieutenant for her service to the CFD."

"Her silence." Dawson shook her head. "He had no right to suggest that he'd give her a promotion if she keeps quiet."

Kelly felt heat prickle along the skin of his neck as the edges of his vision blurred white. "What else?"

He knew it was bad when Dawson bit into the corner of her lower lip, turning the naturally dark curve into a pale white line. She darted a glance at Brett who had been standing quietly beside Cruz.

"Brett?" Kelly almost growled her name. "What else?"

Moving across the space, she leaned in toward Kelly, meeting his eyes for a moment before she turned her eyes down toward the floor. "Stella told him the tests showed four DNA samples and he told her that he knew she was," Brett swallowed and her voice became barely a whisper, "intimate with at least one fireman-"

"Where is he?"

Kelly tried to pull back, but Boden clamped his other hand down on Kelly's free shoulder.

"Take a minute, Severide."

"No," he shrugged as his face turned a dark ruddy shade, "I'll take a minute after I take him apart." He tried to move away again, but this time he found himself boxed in with Matt, Gabby, and Sylvie joining Boden, holding him still as much as they were holding up. "At least?" His head tipped back, and he was momentarily blinded by the cold fluorescent lights on the ceiling. "He offered her a promotion and then all but called her… he called her-"

The hallway door swung open. "Kelly? I'm glad you're here." Dr. Charles walked toward him. "Let me take you to Stella."

#

When Kelly stepped inside her hospital room he was surprised to see her smiling, but the closer he got, the easier it was to see how brittle her smile was. She held out her hand to him and then seemed to think better of it, pulling it back toward her.

As he stopped at her bedside, he carefully took hold of her hand and lifted it up to his mouth to place a gentle kiss on her knuckles. "Hey, babe."

"I'm sorry-" she began with an instinctive apology, but Kelly saw Dr. Charles' encouraging smile and what it did for her. "Thank you, for coming to see me."

He shook his head. "Remember," he turned her hand in his and touched her palm to his cheek, "wherever you are, that's where I want to be, Stella."

She drew in a steadying breath and the smile she'd plastered on her face eased into a softer smile. "I thought I could hold it together, but Chief Huffines," she blew out a breath, "what he wanted me to do was lie, Kelly. I can't lie about what happened to me, not if I want to keep my feet under me."

He smiled at her and turned so that his other hand could comb through the loose curls on her pillow. "You know I'm behind you. Everyone at Fifty One is behind you."

"Not to leave out the whole staff at Med, Stella." Dr. Charles gave her an encouraging smile. Then a nod.

Kelly saw the gesture and turned back to Stella, knowing there was something else she had to say.

"I was talking to Dr. Charles about what happened with Chief Huffines and I remembered something he said. It didn't stick at first. When he said it, my mind was struggling to work through everything else."

Leaning a little closer, Kelly placed their joined hands against his chest, so she could feel his heartbeat. "You were under a lot of pressure, Stella."

Her smile was almost natural again, but then her expression darkened again. "He said ' _I was told you'd be difficult. I was hoping you'd prove him wrong_.'" She darted a glance at Dr. Charles and he saw the soft nod that encouraged her to go on. "And he said he knew I was intimately involved with at least one firefighter." She swallowed and dragged in a gasp. "It's only you, Kelly. You're the only one."

"Hey," he flattened her palm on his chest and covered her hand with both of his, "I know. You don't to worry about me doubting you, Stella. You're my rock, babe. And you're my only too."

Again, she looked at Dr. Charles before she met his gaze. "How did he know?"

Kelly felt like the floor broke away under his feet and the fire below threatened to consume him.

There was only one person who could have said all of those things and known about his relationship with Stella.

One person.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

It was nearly midnight when Kelly Severide strode up to the front door of 32 Proctor Street and started banging on the hard wooden surface.

It look a few minutes for the pounding to elicit the right response. There was a decidedly heavy stride on the opposite side of the door before the entryway light turned on and the front door swung open and the man inside gave him a welcome that wasn't exactly hospitable.

"What do you want, Kelly?"

Looking into the sleep deprived face of Chief Grissom, Kelly barely managed to hold onto his anger. The need to see his one-time mentor bleeding on the floor was almost too strong to stop his need to destroy him in other ways.

"I want you to tell me what happened."

Grissom's eyes narrowed at him. "What the hell are we talking about now?"

"You know damn well what we're talking about, Griss. Stella. What happened?"

Grissom sighed and turned around, walking slowly into the house. A few steps in he chuckled, and the sound seemed to echo off of the walls. "You want me to tell you what's in the police report? Why? Didn't your girlfriend tell you what she did?"

The edges of Kelly's eyesight flared with light, like sparks. "What _she_ did?"

Turning around, Grissom looked up at him with a sly quirk at the corner of his mouth. "Come on," he shook his head, "you've known her for how long? A little over a year? You meant to tell me you haven't heard the rumors?"

"No, there aren't any rumors."

Griss' raised eyebrows pricked at Kelly's temper. "Look," he sighed, his shoulders shrugging, "I don't see why you're getting so upset about this. You told me there wasn't anything serious between the two of you."

"When did I say that?"

"At the fundraiser." Griss all but rolled his eyes. "I asked you if it was serious between you, goodness knows you've had your share of gorgeous women, but you usually don't bring them to CFD events-"

"Stella's a firefighter, one of us."

Grissom's scoffing laugh grated on Kelly's nerves. "She's affirmative action. Feminist rhetoric."

"So you thought Stella and I were… sleeping together?"

Now it was Griss' turn to look shocked. "You weren't?" He laughed. "I saw the way you looked at her ass. You mean to tell me you weren't sleeping with her?" A snort of laughter. "Or was that just it. Separate beds to keep up the charade?"

"I don't have to explain anything to you, Griss. But at the time of the fundraiser, Stella and I were still just roommates. It wasn't until the house fire when she almost died that I stopped trying to pretend I-"

"Didn't want a piece of that ass that she was offering up."

"Griss-" Kelly felt all the muscles in his neck tighten, "she's not like that."

"She's got you snowed, Kelly. The wool pulled firmly over your eyes. You may think she's this paragon or something else that stupid. And maybe that's even how she acted at Fifty-one, but you should hear what they say about her at my house.

"She acts like she's one of the guys, she doesn't even try to be humble."

"She's that good, Griss. Stella is humble, but she's confident. She's given and gotten as good as everyone else at fifty-one."  
"Oh, I bet…" Grissom flopped down on his couch and leaned back against the pillows. "We don't have two sets of showers and we have one locker room-"

"Same at Fifty-one," Kelly interjected. "We make do. We share the showers. No one gets stupid, we're a team… a family."

"Seriously? You have women walking around in towels and there's nothing going on?"

"We're professionals, just like your men are supposed to be."

"Oh," Grissom chuckled, "that's low, Kelly."

"Low," Kelly's tone was deep… and cutting, "is raping a woman and turning one of the places she should feel safest into a nightmare."

"You really believe her bullshit story? The woman is a walking cautionary tale. Have you seen her file? Foster homes, drug rehab, and living on the streets. Or don't you remember her junkie ex that almost got you thrown in jail for assault?"

"Stella's had it tough, but she didn't let it stop her from becoming what she wanted to be."

"Really? What's that, a total tease in a firehouse full of men? If you ask me-"

"I'm not asking you about her, because I don't need to know. Everything in her file, I know. She's told me about her past and she knows about mine. What I know is that she's a damn good firefighter and she's EMT trained, making her better than most of us. And you let your men treat her like dirt."

There was a shadow of something that crossed Griss' face. It was so quick that Kelly couldn't quite pin down what he thought it could mean. He pushed on ahead.

"What did you tell Chief Huffines before he went to see Stella today?"

"Ah," Grissom nodded and then blew out a breath, "so much for strictest confidence. I told him that Stella had a bit of an attitude problem. 'Tow the party line' is not a phrase that she learned on the streets, I'm guessing. I told him she'd push back on his offer, but that if he sweetened the deal she'd probably jump at the chance to get the focus off of her." Grissom set his arm on the back of the sofa. "The last thing she needs is for this mess to get dirty in the public eye. If that happened, what house would take her? She's a nightmare for Huffines, I just offered him some insight in how to treat her, so things didn't blow up in his face. Now," he scoffed, "Huffines says I owe him a bottle Scotch for all the shit he had endure today. Some secretary yelled at him because your little fuck buddy couldn't handle-"

A table in the entryway went flying into the wall, a ceramic bowl on the top shattered into a chunks and shards that littered the floor.

"I don't even know who you are anymore." Kelly's shoulders heaved with desperate indrawn breaths. "How can you believe those things, let alone say them?"

"Kelly, you're so blinded by her ass you can't see straight. You have to learn that in a job like this, the old adage stands true. There are those women you take home to mama, and a woman like Stella-"

"You're going to stop right there, Griss. From now on, you don't talk about her. Not to me, not to anyone else. You are going to find out who the other two men were that attacked her. You're going to tell Antonio Dawson so that he can have them arrested.

"There's not going to be anymore of this 'old boys' club' mentality. Stella, Dawson, and Brett, they walk through fire and bullets like the rest of us. They put their lives on the line. That alone should earn your respect.

"But if you don't… can't respect them," Kelly leveled a hard look at the chief, "Then you should get out of this job. You're not fit to lead anyone if you let your men's attitudes develop to the point where things like this happen."

Kelly turned on his heel and walked to the door. "Fix this, Grissom. Make those two firefighters tell the truth. I want to believe that in the time that I've been at fifty one, you haven't become someone that I can't respect."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Stella was sitting on the couch beside Dawson when Kelly opened the door to their apartment. A quick look at the kitchen found Matt pouring coffee in the kitchen.

Matt gave him a nod. "Want me to pour you a cup?"

Kelly shook his head. "I'm good."

Shrugging off his jacket, Kelly dropped it on the hook and made his way straight across the room. God, Stella was so damn beautiful all he wanted to do was hold her.

But when he got close enough to touch her, he saw a small shadow of fear wash over her face.

He froze and started to take a step back, but Stella reached out and took his hand. "Kelly, wait."

Slowly, very slowly, he sat down on the coffee table, gently holding her hand in his, unwilling to break the freely offered contact. "Hey, babe."

Her smile widened and she squeezed his hand even tighter. "It's good to have you home."

Home.

He felt love for her like a kick to his chest. Stella made everything in his life better. He just hoped that he could do the same for her. "It's good to be home, Stella. Seeing you? Touching you," he looked down at their joined hands and covered both of theirs with his free hand, "knowing that you want me to, makes my whole day."

There was a long moment of silence and then the coffee carafe made a soft clink of sound on the base, followed by a soft brush of fabric on the other end of the couch.

Stella moved first, looking past he shoulder. "Hey, you two don't have to go."

Dawson set her hand on the back of the sofa and leaned closer to brush a kiss on Stella's forehead. "You call if you need anything."

"I'm fine."

She started to look away, but Dawson moved with her. "A-ny-thing." Dawn gave Stella a smile and Kelly felt like he wanted to give their friend a bearhug. "I love you, girl. Whatever you need, you call me and Matt. We'll be here in a minute."

Stella blinked back tears and shook her head. "You guys live further out than that. Don't break any laws. 'Tonio can help you with a ticket, but-"

Dawson rolled her eyes, don't be a bi-"

"I love you too, Dawson."

The two shared a smile before Dawson moved way and Matt stepped closer, but remained beyond where Dawson had been standing. "You take care of yourself, Stella. We've got the rest of it. Okay?"

Then he paused and lifted a hand to give her an awkward wave, but Stella beat him to the punch. She reached out and took his hand, leaning forward to do it. "Hey."

The whole room froze.

Kelly felt Dawson tense beside Matt and he didn't blame her. Stella was at a difficult crossroads in her recovery. Any bad 'moments' could set her back, especially if it happened with friends.

"I'm not going to break with you, Matt. I'm tense, I'm strung tight, and I'm shaky, but if there's one thing I know. You… the guys at 51? You guys are the good guys. You're the ones that make it safe for a woman in the CFD. I thank God, Buddha, everyone who will listen that I ended up at 51 for as long as I did. It's a scary world out there for a woman in what has a tradition as a man's world. That goes for any job. You're a good man, Matt Casey. I'm proud to call you a friend." Stella let go of Kelly's hand and shoved her blanket off of her lap before she stood. Moving to stand just a few inches shy of Matt's nose. She took in a breath.

Once.

Twice.

And then, as if the entire room had been holding its breath, they all let it out as Stella wrapped her arms around Matt and gave him a bone crunching hug.

Kelly felt his bones shatter and reform inside his body. He felt his heart stop and then start again in a frantic pounding rhythm that spoke of pride and love and all kinds of confusing emotions in between.

Matt managed to get his arms around Stella and return the hug with a big smile across his face that made them all return the gesture.

By the time Dawson and Matt left, Kelly was ready to close the door and lock it behind them. When it happened, when the last sound of retreating footsteps disappeared behind the door, he turned to look at Stella and couldn't help but smile at the warm light in her eyes.

He didn't chance a step in her direction. Instead, he opened his arms to her and waited. It didn't take more than a few seconds before she stepped into his embrace.

Leaning her cheek on his shoulder, she rubbed the curve of it against the dark cotton of his long-sleeved t-shirt. "So glad you're home."

"I got here as soon as I could." He gently shifted his arms around her so he could cradle her against him. "I wanted to be there when they released you from Med."

"I was just fine with Dawson and Casey. Are you okay?"

He felt her lay her hand over the center of his chest and was reminded, yet again, that Stella had a capacity to love that would always stagger and humble him. She'd loved him even when they hadn't been together, when he'd messed up and let the situation with Grant derail what they'd started.

"I spoke to-" he stopped short and leaned his cheek against the top of her head, "you know, it doesn't matter right now. I just want to hold you, if that's okay."

"You want to stay out here," her voice was soft and warm as it found its way in her ear, "or you want to go somewhere else?"

He knew what he wanted. He knew what he wanted to ask. But he also knew he couldn't push her. No. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting her just because he wanted to feel her amazing body against his.

"Whatever you want, babe. Just tell me and you'll get it."

She looked up at him, her lips parting on an indrawn breath as her eyes sparkled with a mischievous light. "Are you sure?"

He swallowed hard and then felt her lips brush against the hard pulse of his Adam's apple. "Whatever makes you smile like that? I'll do it."

She tightened her arms around him and cuddled against his broader frame. "I was hoping you'd say that." Raising herself up on her tiptoes she cupped her hand around the back of his head and tilted it down so she could whisper into his ear. "I was hoping you'd-"

He heard the words, whispered to him in such a soft, hopeful whisper and he smiled. He'd never actually done that for a woman, but even if he had before, and hated it, he'd do it for Stella. It would make her happy and that's all that mattered, but he knew, he'd have a little fun too and that only made him look forward to it even more.

"Stay here," he murmured back, kissing her cheek gently, "I'll get everything set up and then come back and get you."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

When Kelly came to get her, she was half asleep sitting up. More often than not these days, just getting up and doing normal things wiped her out on top of the sessions with Dr. Charles. Smiling was never a chore for her before, but now it was hard to remind herself that she needed to smile so the people around her wouldn't worry the whole time they were around her.

Kelly's hand on her shoulder, startled her and she shook awake, but to her credit she didn't call out in fear. Those moments were behind her… for the most part.

Looking up into his handsome face took the hand he held out and stood, following him into the bathroom. The tub was halfway full, leaving her more than enough room to get in without overfilling it. She could almost see the steam rising up from the water and her muscles ached with need.

She felt his hand start to pull away and she turned to keep a hold of it and stopped. Kelly put something in her hand and she swore he almost blushed. "What?"

"That's something I asked Dawson to get. I have no idea how to choose those things. She said this was the one."

Stella brought the round ball, about the size of a grapefruit, closer to her face. Leaning forward she took in a deep breath and sighed. "Smells good."

Kelly shrugged. "She said it would be better in the water, but to wait until you were in the tub…. So I'll let you decide when to put it in." Tilting his head toward the door, he let out a breath. "I'll be right outside if you need me- if you need anything."

One last look and he stepped outside.

She heard the soft squeak of some of some of the springs under the mattress and smiled at the bathbomb in her hands. Kelly Severide just kept surprising her at every turn.

Setting the bathbomb at her feet, she made quick work of her clothes and dropped them at her feet. Picking up the bathbomb she climbed into the tub and slowly eased herself into the steaming hot water.

It was just on the verge of too hot, but inch after inch she sank into the water and by the time her hand and the bathbomb disappeared beneath the surface she felt like a big pile of goo. "I don't think I'll ever move again."

The bathbomb was already doing its job. Fuzzing the water in a bubbling fountain of colors and scents it quickly worked its way through the water and she swore it went right through her as well.

Leaning back into the water she felt her back connect with the back of the tub and before she could stop herself, she sighed. And that sigh turned into a low, bone deep moan.

"Stella?"

Her cheeks flushed with heat at the sound of his voice. "Umm… yeah?"

"You okay in there?"

"Sure… yeah… just fine. Sorry."

"I just wanted to make sure," she swore she could hear him swallowing in the next room, "that you were-"

"I'm good, thanks." She grimaced, her teeth clenched together wondering just how loud she'd been. Shaking herself, she reached over to the shelf for her soap and froze. Her soap… well it was in the shower. Come to think of it, so was her shampoo, and her towel.

Turning a look over her shoulder she realized that she was between a rock and a hard place. If she got out of the tub to get her things, she'd have walk wet across the tile and wipe up with the bathmat before she took her things back to the tub.

Before she could stop herself, she groaned.

"Okay," she heard him again, "that's not a good sound. What's wrong?"

Closing her eyes, she swore under her breath. "You're going to laugh."

"Okay."

"I need some things from the shower."

Kelly looked in from the bedroom. "Is that it?" He tried to avoid looking directly at the bathtub. "Is it safe to come in?"

Stella looked at the frothy water around her. "I can't even see me."

His grin was mesmerizing. "What do you need?" He moved across the room and opened the shower door. Following her instructions he picked out her soap and shampoo and the towel she used and made his way to the tub. He set the bottles one by one on the shelf and the towel into her outstretched hands.

Before he started to move away he pressed a kiss on the top of her head. "Enjoy."

Kelly only made it a few steps when she called out to him again. "Kelly?"

He stopped and turned around, smiling down at her. "Yeah?"

"Do you think," she squeezed some bodywash onto the towel and made a little lather, "you could stay?"

His eyes widened a bit, but he answered her without a thought. "Sure." Setting the lid on the toilet down, he sat on the lid and watched as she passed the towel over her opposite arm, the soft scratch bringing a tingling flush to her skin. No scratchy skin for her.

"I had a good session with Dr. Charles today."

"That's good," Kelly leaned forward and set his forearms on his knees, "he was really good with you when you were going through all of that trouble with Grant."

She nodded. "He really helped me through that."

"I wasn't much help." She watched as he swallowed and saw the tight muscles in his neck move. "I was pushing you to make a decision you didn't want to and I wasn't really supporting you enough to let you do what you felt he needed."

"Hey," she shook her head at him as she scrubbed her other arm, "you were trying to protect me and I saw that, I was just stubborn."

"But you were right," he admitted, "Grant finished rehab and came out of it better than if you'd sent him to jail."

"I knew him for years, Kelly. You'd only known him from a few moments here and there. You didn't know. But you stood up for me. I don't think I ever thanked you for that."

He shook his head. "You're were handling it. I just should have supported you instead of trying to tell you what to do."

"That's over now," She leaned back and lifted a leg to get at her foot, "and you've been great through all of this. I don't think anyone else would have."

She saw a hard glint in his eyes that gave way to heat. "I'm not about to give anyone else a chance to try. You're not trying to get rid of me, are you?"

Stella felt her laughter shake her from head to toe. "Not a chance. And there better not be another woman looking to fill my place, hmm?"

He held up his hands in surrender. "Not a chance."

"Good." She worked on her other foot before working her way up her leg under the water. "I'd rather not have to kick someone's butt this week, I can barely lift my arms over my head."

Kelly gave her an odd look. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing much. Dr. Charles thinks it's just tension. My shoulder muscles are just tight."

Looking over at the shelf he wondered aloud. "Then how are you going to wash your hair?"

She shrugged. "This bathbomb is working wonders, thank you… so maybe in a few minutes I'll be able to move my arms enough to make it happen. Right now, I'm just too happy to make my shoulders ache." Dropping her towel in the water she punctuated her statement with a long head to toe sigh of relief. "I'm going to stay right here."

Stella closed her eyes for a moment until she heard the soft creak of the hinge on the toilet lid. She looked up and saw Kelly reaching for his towel on the rod. "What's going on?"

He gave her a smile. "Just relax, baby. I'm about to make you really happy."

She couldn't help the shiver at the promise in his words. "Do tell."

He folded the towel until it was only about a half foot wide on one side. "I'm about to give you a hand." His laughter was soft and warm. "Okay, two hands."

Walking around to the back of the tub above her head, he dropped the towel on the ground and knelt down on top of it before reaching over to the shelf and picking up her bottle of shampoo.

"Hey," she turned to look over her shoulder, "what are you going to do with that?"

"Just relax, Stella. Get your hair wet." He opened the bottle and poured a big dollop of shampoo into his palm. "I think you're going to like this."

Taking hold of the sides of the tub, she scooted forward and then leaned back until her hair dipped into the water. She stopped when the water lapped at her ears. Sitting up she let out a sigh as drops of water fell down to her shoulders.

"Come on," he coaxed her, "lean back."

She didn't argue with him. Moving back until she felt the cool porcelain at her back. Before she could lean her head back completely, she felt his fingers in her hair. Felt the way he gathered her curls up in his hands and worked the shampoo up into a lather until his fingertips met with her scalp.

He worked the suds into a froth and continued even when she groaned out loud. Then, he worked a little harder. In moments she was putty in his hands and she was enjoying every single second.

It was a long time before she could move out of the tub, her fingers and toes wrinkled from the heated water and every muscle relaxed and ready for a long peaceful night, lying beside the man she loved, held gently in his arms.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

The morning that the four firefighters were due to enter their pleas in court, Stella woke up to find Kelly watching her with a soft look in his eyes. "Hey."

She smiled and stretched all the way from her shoulders to her toes, tangling the sheets enough that they fell from her shoulders before they were caught up at her elbow. "Hey you. Something wrong?"

He moved closer to her until their toes brushed against each other at the base of the mattress. "Nothing wrong."

She gave him a side-long look. "You just woke up early to stare at me."

He shrugged and adjusted the arm he had tucked up under his pillow. "I like looking at you."

Her smile widened. "I like looking at you too."

Kelly's smile made her feel warm all over.

"You want the first shower before we leave?"

"Before we…" the meaning of his words hit her like a wall, "leave. You mean… for court?"

His fingers trailed over her cheek and smoothed her wild curls behind her ear. "You don't have to go. I can go and tell you about it later."

She reached up and wrapped her hand around his wrist, drawing his hand down to her lips. "Wishful thinking on your part, hmm? You know I have to be there. We've talked about this."

"Yeah. I know," he hissed in a breath when her lips touched the inside of his wrist, "but I want to help. I want to protect you from this."

Stella heard the scratch of his voice as if the words hurt him. She saw the tightness at the corners of his eyes, the tick of a muscle in his jaw. And when she tilted her head to look at him, he wouldn't meet her eyes.

Her heart broke into a dozen pieces and she sat up in bed, tucking her legs under her. "Kelly, stop."

Still, he wouldn't meet her eyes. Instead, he rolled over onto his back and covered his eyes with his forearm. "I should have been there. I shouldn't have agreed with Griss. I shouldn't have told you about his offer. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Oh, boy." Shrugging off the rest of the linens on the bed, Stella moved closer on the bed, setting her hands on his shoulders she straddled his thighs and sat down, trapping him beneath her.

The surprise froze Kelly in place.

"Kelly…"

When he didn't answer her, she leaned over and tried to lift his arm away. It felt like a couple hundred pounds of dead weight.

"Kelly…"

She tried again and saw him shake his head just a little, back and forth.

"Damn it, Severide. Look at me." To punctuate her words she poked him square in the chest.

He lowered his arm to protect himself from her second jab and that's when she folded her arms and leaned forward, trapping his arms between them.

"You are so dense sometimes." She shook her head and sighed. "Sometimes I think you can be a complete dork."

His expression was pained and somewhat confused. "Should I apologize or thank you?"

"You should listen to me, _numbnuts_."

"Hey…" he offered up the protest, even though it was a weak one. "What are you-"

"I'm trying to get you to listen to me, Kelly. You did nothing wrong. Griss told you about an opportunity. You brought the offer to me. We talked it out and when I made my decision, you supported me. And when I was hurt," she swallowed down the aching pain that flared in her chest, "you stood by me. You held me. You offered me your unconditional love. I couldn't ask for more from anyone."

"But, Stella-"

"Don't you 'but' me, Kelly. Although," she lowered her voice and gave him a wink, "I'm a pretty big fan of your butt, so maybe later…" she laughed at the odd curl of one half of his lips. "What happened is on them. What I suffered through is something that I'm working on… with your help. I love you for trying to protect me from today, Kelly, but it's not going to work. Sitting here all I'm going to do is worry and climb the walls.

"I need to be there. I need them to see that I'm whole and happy. That they didn't break me like I think they were trying to do." She leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "I'm hoping you're going to be there right beside me. And if I need a shoulder-"

"I'll be there for you to lean on."

"And I'll be there for you too."

Kelly set his hands on her cheeks, gently cradling her face as he leaned up to return her kiss. "Then let's get ready to go, beautiful, because I feel the need to stare down a few assholes today."

Stella pressed another kiss to his lips. "And I feel the need to be there with you, so let's go."

#

Stella hadn't thought to call anyone else about the hearing. If she'd been ready to admit anything about it, she would have said she was actually afraid to say anything and possibly jinx it.

So when she walked into the courtroom with Kelly's hand securely intertwined with hers, she was almost brought to a complete stop when she saw the first two rows of seats on the Prosecutor's side filled up with her friends. Crew, Truck, & Engine were the first 'circle' around the two empty spots in the center of the first row. Connie and a few of the ladies from Boden's office were there as well as the Chief's wife. Dr. Charles and everyone that had cared for her when she was at Med were there as well. Standing by the first seat, waiting to take the empty spot beside Mouch, was Sgt. Platt.

Trudy met Stella's watering eyes and smiled at her. Not a soft sympathetic smile, but the kind that Stella might have imagined would be at home on the face of a Valkyrie or avenging angel.

The Sergeant didn't pull her into a hug, that would have brought Stella to her knees.

No, Trudy set her hand squarely on Stella's shoulders and gave her a succinct nod. "We're here for you."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Stella looked over the entire assembled group before returning her gaze to Trudy's. "Thanks. Thank you, everyone. This means… this means everything."

Taking a step toward the front row, Stella felt Kelly there beside her matching every step of hers with one of his.

The guards opened the door and made sure that the four defendants walked straight to their chairs at the defense table. Two men in suits flanked them and a third lawyer, a woman, sat in a chair behind the group.

Stella felt Kelly's hand tighten slightly around hers and she reached over her free hand to cover them both with a reassuring squeeze.

She met Kelly's wide-eyed look of shock with a smile before she settled back against her chair.

The bailiff stood at his desk. "All Rise!"

The sheer volume of all of the chairs on the prosecutor's side emptying, was a dizzying thing.

Stella barely heard the official announcement of the judge and the rules of the hearing, all she could concentrate on was the overwhelming feeling of support from her friends and the others in the Chicago First Responders Community. It was a humbling feeling that made her realize that no matter what happened that day, she wasn't anywhere near being alone.

The principle defense attorney made a brief statement before the prosecutor reminded the court that all four of the men had made an agreement to confess for consideration on their sentences.

It began simply enough. The first two that had been singled out got their confessions out of the way. They kept their description to a minimum. As the prosecutor had explained to Stella, the men were encouraged to admit their part, but not to belabor their statements with facts.

The last thing anyone wanted was for Stella to have to hear their comments and the details of her attack. The prosecutor had done her best to explain that anything they did to spare her any pain would be taken into consideration with their sentencing. They may never work as firemen ever again, but they also wanted to get out of jail before they were old men, so the first two… and yes, the third, kept their allocutions to a simple admission of guilt.

Stella almost let out a sign of relief when the Judge asked for the fourth man to stand and give his statement.

It took a moment for him to get up out of his chair. And once he was on his feet he swayed forward and leaned on the table, his hands fisted on the tabletop, his knuckles white.

"Mr. Landis?" The Judge leaned forward on the bench and directed a pointed look in his direction. "Are you prepared to allocate to your crime?"

"I'm not the only one."

The courtroom went eerily silent. The Judge's mouth drew into a tight line. "We know that, Mr. Landis. The other three defendants have already spoken and given their statements of guilt."

"I heard them." Landis' head lowered until his chin came to rest on his chest. "I heard what they said."

"Now," the prosecutor spoke, his voice ringing out in the room, "it's your turn, Mr. Landis. Remember that the plea agreement you agreed to, hinges on your open and honest statement here in court."

Again, the room went silent and the combined supporters on the Prosecutor's side of the room tensed, waiting for the fourth man to uphold his end of the bargain.

The Judge was starting to lose his calm exterior. "Mr. Landis. You agreed to give us your statement of guilt."

Before anyone could figure out what was going on, Landis turned on his heel and crossed toward the bar, headed for Stella.

Kelly and the rest of Rescue were on their feet before he could get anywhere near her, the bailiff not far behind.

"You think you know what happened, don't you?"

Stella felt Kelly wrap his arm around her and hold her to his side, his hand on the back of her waist. She knew what he was doing, knew he was protecting her, but she also had to know.

"What are you saying?"

The bailiff clapped hands on Landis, holding him in place. Landis didn't resist. He just stood there, his gaze on Stella.

"You think you understand what happened? You think it was just the four of us getting drunk and stupid?"

"You've all admitted to it. Why won't you just do it now? It's what you promised to do." Stella wrapped her hand around Kelly's upper arm, trying to calm him down. She could feel him almost shaking with rage as he stood there trying to shield her from one of her attackers. "Just get it over with."

He turned to look back at the other three, who were now standing at the defendants' table watching him with wide-eyed horror. "It's bullshit. The way we're all going to roll over and let him get away with it."

The prosecutor shoved his way in as Stella and Chief Boden managed to keep Kelly on the right side of the bar. "What are you talking about, Mr. Landis. Who is getting away with this?"

"Shut it, man."

Stella didn't know who was talking, because her eyes were focused on Landis. Her heart in her throat and her knees turning to jelly. "Who?"

She blinked back tears as he lowered his chin until he stared straight in her eyes.

He smiled, his eyes going cold as he stared back at her, but as he opened his mouth to speak his head turned and his gaze fell on Kelly standing at her side. "You should be talking to your friend."

Stella tightened her hold on Kelly's arm, fearing what was going to happen next.

"Who are you talking about?" The prosecutor was spitting mad. "Who?"

Landis didn't even bother looking at the prosecutor, he was close to laughing, as crazy as it sounded. "He told us to do it. He told us to bring her to her knees. He told us that it was what she deserved for tripping you up."

Kelly's breathing was erratic, and Stella shook her head to try to clear it of the thoughts that were crowding in.

"No." She looked at Kelly even though he couldn't see her from where she was behind him. "No."

Stella wanted to tell Landis to shut up. She wanted to tell him to be quiet and leave it alone. Let the secret go. She could sense the impending dread building up inside of Kelly. She didn't want him to lose even more because of this one act.

But then she felt him turn, just the littlest bit, and pull her tightly against his side. His hands touched her, smoothed over her arm, her hip, holding her as gently as he could manage.

He told her with his touch that he could handle the truth… if she could.

She set her hand on top of his and squeezed.

"Tell me," his voice was low and seemed to strike out at Landis where he stood. "Who?"

Landis snapped back like a dog, ready to tear his victim to shreds. "Grissom."


	22. Chapter 22

_(from the last chapter)_

 _He told her with his touch that he could handle the truth… if she could._

 _She set her hand on top of his and squeezed._

 _"Tell me," his voice was low and seemed to strike out at Landis where he stood. "Who?"_

 _Landis snapped back like a dog, ready to tear his victim to shreds. "Grissom."_

* * *

Chapter Twenty Two

The courtroom erupted into enough noise that the judge had to hammer his gavel on his desk, but it still took quite a bit of time to quiet things down.

The first people to leave were the defendants. The bailiffs marched them out as soon as they could get the door open. The prosecutor sat heavily on the edge of the table.

Trudy and the other members of PD huddled in the back and Stella could tell by the stern looks on their faces that they were already talking about what was going to happen next.

The Chief gave Kelly and Stella a look that said he had their backs and he left with Mouch on his six.

Without a doubt, the union was going to hear about this... and if the look on Boden's face was anything to go by, he was heading over to see the CFD brass.

When Stella felt the bench creak beside her she turned to and saw Dr. Charles watching her with genuine concern.

She reached a hand over and gripped his arm gently.

Covering her hand with his, Dr. Charles gave her a smile. "How are you, Stella?"

She nodded. "I'm okay. It's confusing and I still can't believe I heard that at all. It just seems so… surreal."

Leaning to the side, she pressed a kiss to Kelly's shoulder and then laid her cheek against it. "I'm more worried about Kelly."

She wasn't sure if it was her words that brought Kelly around, but he turned toward her on the bench and wound an arm around her middle. He lifted his other hand and touched her cheek. "You want to get out of here?"

It took a moment for her to steady herself before she spoke. "I want to be with you, Kelly. If you want to sit here for a bit, I'm good."

He pulled her closer until her leg was laid over his and she could feel his heartbeat against her side. "How can you give like that? How can you try to take care of me when it was Gri- when I'm the one who brought him into your life. I'm the one that put you in his crosshairs."

"Kelly, stop."

It didn't matter to her who was still standing around. She could almost feel him falling apart beside her. She wasn't going to let it happen. She had been broken in pieces only to have her friends and Kelly put her back together. There was no way he was going to allow Grissom to have one more victim.

"Look at me."

Kelly lifted his head and her heart broke to see the pain in his eyes.

"This isn't your fault, Kelly. Just like it wasn't my fault for the attack, no matter what those men tried to say. We all get to make our own decisions."

He shook his head and she felt his hands settle on her waist, holding her as if he needed to know she was there… with him. It hurt her to see him ache like this.

Stella shifted and sat in his lap, wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in neck. "Just know this, Kelly Severide. When you need someone to hold you. Someone to keep you whole and breathing. I'm your girl.

"When you ache so much that you feel like you want to scream, you tell me and I'll stand beside you and scream. There's nothing that you could do or say to make me turn away and leave you alone, because I love you more than my next breath. There's no end to what I would do for you… because you've done so much for me that we'd never be even. I'm always going to owe you.

"And you can sit here and not say a thing for the rest of the day. I just need you to give me a sign that you hear me. Kelly," she turned her face into the strong line of his neck. "Just something so I know you're still with me here."

Kelly opened his mouth and gasped in a breath that told her he'd likely been holding it all in. Leaning closer to her, his lips brushing along the column of her neck. His fingers dug into her hips as if he was using her as an anchor.

"Babe?"

She felt tears gathering on her lashes, but she forced a smile on her face so he wouldn't hear the pain in her voice. "Yeah, Kelly?"

"Let's go home."

She gave him a tight hug and nodded. "Sure, baby… let's go home."

#

When Stella closed the door and locked it behind them she helped Kelly off with his coat and then put both of their coats on the rack. When she turned back, Kelly was still standing where he had been.

Walking up behind him she took his hands in hers and leaned her cheek on his shoulder. "You going to stand here all night?"

"It's a thought."

She heard the scratch of his voice.

"What I really want to do is go to Grissom's house and-"

"Hey," she stopped him short, "let's focus on the good things."

"What's that?"

She narrowed her eyes and cursed Grissom in her head. It was bad enough that he'd gone after her, but the hurt that he'd done to Kelly? That was unforgiveable. Kelly Severide may be as big and tough as anyone, but his heart, deep down under all that bravery and muscle? He was a soft-hearted guy. The best of men.

"Are you hungry?"

She felt the shock in his body at her question, but she wasn't going to let up.

"Are you hungry?"

He let out a sigh. "I couldn't eat right now. Probably not for the rest of the night."

"Me too." She felt him tense and knew he was going to try to get her to eat. "So, I've got this idea."

There was a pause before he replied. "Yeah? What kind of idea?"

"Trust me?"

Kelly swore under his breath. "If there's one person in this world that I can trust, babe. It's you."

"Good. That's decided then." She released one of his hands and walked around in front of him, pulling him toward their shared bedroom.

She took it as a good sign that he didn't argue, following along with her as she pushed open the door.

Stella left him at the side of the bed and crossed to the windows. Drawing the curtains closed she returned to him and stepped up in front of him, giving him a smile.

He let out a breath. "What?"

She shook her head. "You're it for me, Kelly. You know that? No matter what happens from now on. You've got my heart. So today, you are going to let me take care of you."

He gave her the first real smile she'd seen since they'd left for court that morning. "And what exactly does that mean?"

Stella heard just the littlest bit of humor in his voice.

"What it means," she reached own and grasped the hem of her shirt before she pulled it off over her head, "is that you and I are going to get into bed and take a long nap, because what I want is to have you in my arms"

She shucked off her slacks, leaving them in a pile at her feet and then she moved closer to him until she had her hands on his waist. "You have an issue with me stripping you down, Severide?"

Kelly shook his head and smiled at her. "If it would help, I'll beg."

She was already halfway up the front of his shirt, freeing his buttons with a steady marching rhythm. "No need to beg me for a thing. I'm a giving person, Kelly. I'm always willing to help."

Stella pushed his shirt off his shoulders and let it fall to the ground. She laid her palms on his undershirt and smoothed her touch up to his shoulders and then back down to his waist.

The button at his waistband was popped open and her fingers deftly opened his zipper. It took some doing to get his slacks off, but once she did she started for the bed.

She felt his hand on her shoulder and turned. Kelly reached past her and pulled the blanket and sheets back and held it open. "Go on," he grinned, get in…. 'cause I think I need to hold you for a good long time."

She crawled into bed and felt him crawl in after her. Once the covers were pulled up over them, they wrapped their arms around each other as they settled their heads on the pillows.

Right before she closed her eyes, Stella looked at him and smiled. "You've got me as long as you want me, Kelly."

Kelly pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. "How does forever work for you?"

She smiled, almost asleep in his arms. "That works just fine."


	23. Chapter 23

The following weeks came with outrageous amounts of media coverage. Through it all, House 51 did what they always did. They folded themselves around their family. Those that were hurting knew that the others were there for them no matter what.

And they proved that in spades.

After a morning-long meeting at headquarters, Shift 2 assembled at Severide and Kidd's apartment to hear what happened.

The Chief started off.

"Thank you for coming," he scanned the room and smiled at all the faces he saw looking back at him. "I know that we've been tested over the last few months. We've seen our family through a rough time, just as they'll do for us if the need arises.

"I can honestly say that I've never been more proud of you, all of you, than I am at this moment."

He looked over at Kelly and Stella. She was perched on the arm of the sofa and Kelly was standing behind her with his arms around her, cradling her against him.

Stella gave him a smile and a nod.

"Today, at CFD Headquarters, the Brass made Stella an offer. They want to keep the fallout from blowing back on the CFD," he held up his hands as the group grumbled their disproval, "their words, not mine."

"It still sounds like crap if you ask me."

Cruz nodded. "It sounds like crap to all of us, Chief."

Boden nodded and folded his arms.

"Stella told them to shove the offer."

A smattering of applause and fist bumps made their way through the crowd.

Taking in a breath, Stella addressed the group. "Remember when 51 was split all over the city?"

Heads nodded.

Stella looked at Brett who was seated at the table. "Brett and I were back at my old House, and our Chief was a complete ass. He considered it his duty to break the female firefighters down to make sure that only the ones 'meant' to be, would stay. And over the years, he got rid of more than I'd like to think about.

"I think women have shown that we can hold our own with the men. We have the same heart, the same bravery, and we all bleed the same color when it comes to the job.

"I can't stay quiet about this. People, both in the department and the public need to know what happened so that everyone is put on notice.

"There is no way to ensure that something like this doesn't happen again, but we can make the CFD a place where we can help each other. When one of us hurts… we all do."

She looked at Mouch and gave him a big grin, gesturing for him to continue.

"Stella is going to take a roll within the union. Something akin to a shop steward, but it's not associated with any house in particular. Instead, she'll be the one that firefighters can go to, male or female, who have suffered from harassment or assault."

"I'm not going to turn 51 into a media circus. The job, will always be the job. I just want people to know that they don't have to be silent. They don't have to be ashamed. And I want them to know that the kind of family that we have at 51 can happen all over the CFD."

Herrmann scooted his chair back and walked over to Stella. He stood about a foot before her and opened his arms. "Come on, Kidd, I've been missing your hugs."

Kelly let his arms fall to his sides as Stella slipped off of the couch arm and into her friend's embrace. When he stepped back the others followed suit.

Gabby pulled Kelly off to the side after she'd tried to squeeze the stuffing out of Stella. Matt was at her shoulder.

"So, what happened with Grissom?"

Kelly blew out a breath and shook his head, looking at Gabby first and Matt second. "He's taken a plea. The District Attorney hung him on a number of charges. He's lost his job with CFD, his pension. He's done with the CFD."

Matt set a hand on Kelly's shoulder. "You okay?"

Kelly looked across the room at Stella and saw her smiling and joking with their friends. "A few weeks ago, she could barely stand being around more than a few people at a time. Now, here she is, working the room.

"She's so damn beautiful. A force of nature. And Grissom and those men almost took her from me." He pulled in a ragged breath. "They tried to destroy her, because of me."

Gabby wrapped an arm around his middle and leaned into his shoulder. "But they didn't."

Kelly nodded and wrapped his arm around his old friend, tugging her closer. "That's right. They didn't." Kelly's laugh was soft, and deep in his chest.

Casey bumped Kelly on the shoulder. "That's because Stella is a complete badass."

Nodding, Kelly returned the gesture to his friend. "And she loves me. I don't know how I got so lucky."

#

Later that night, after all of their friends had gone home, Kelly got ready for bed and laid his head down on his pillow to wait while Stella took a bath. He was almost asleep when he heard the click of the light in the bathroom turning off.

He turned a few inches, watching her walk out of the bathroom and around to her side of the bed.

Her side.

It never failed to make him smile when he thought of having her in his life. Her soaps on the shelves of the bathroom, her earrings falling into his sock drawer. Her clothes taking up more than half off their closet.

And when she stopped by the side of their bed, he thought she'd never looked so beautiful.

The nightgown she wore, the way she looked in it… made him sweat. The fabric was delicate and nearly see-through, held on her body by think straps that looked like satin ribbon. As she stood there, just breathing, he found himself aching to hold her.

"Hey, baby."

She smiled and gave him a look that managed to stop him from breathing all together. "Hey, handsome."

"You," he swallowed and licked at his lips as he tried not to scare her away, "look amazing."

Holding the side of her gown, Stella lifted one leg and set her knee on the mattress.

The subtle flash of her thigh had him grabbing a handful of the sheets beneath his pillow.

"And you," she knelt down beside him on him on the bed and lifted her hand to smooth her palm over his hair and then she cheek, "look lonely."

His eyes opened just a fraction of an inch in surprise. "I do, huh?"

"Yep." Stella nodded and put her hand on his shoulder, gently easing him onto his back, and smiling at his shocked expression. "You think you could stand some company?"

He looked her over from the top of her head and down to her knees, reaching out his hand to settle on her forearm. "Only if it's you, Stella."

She smiled and gave him an indulgent smile. "Well, okay… because I want to be with you tonight too."

As he lifted the blankets, she scooted under and laid her head on his shoulder.

Once he settled the blankets around them, she worked her free hand under his arm and laid her palm on his lower back. "Do you think that it would risk jinxing everything if I said that for the first time…. Since this all happened, I feel like I can look at the future and see all the good that's going to happen. I'm not waiting for the other shoe to fall anymore, Kelly."

He pressed a kiss against her forehead. "I think you've earned it, baby. I think you've got everything to look forward to." Turning his head a little to the side, she felt his cheek rub against her curls.

"You're going to tangle it, if you're not careful," she tried to scold him, but she couldn't help the smile in her voice.

Kelly drew her closer to him and worked his thigh between hers so she could ease her leg over his. Once they were nestled together, he let out a long-satisfied sigh. "Well, if it's tangled in the morning, then we'll just do what we always do."

"Oh, really?" She turned and pressed a kiss against his chest. "And what's that?"

"Work through it… together."


End file.
